Tuesday, November 22, 2005

I SEE UNDER GROUND,BUT I WON'T TELL YOU.

They put her in the coffin.everybody there was upset and talking about the death of the younge mother with sarrow.
son was standing over there and was looking at these people all waring black with surprise .he couldn't bear being beside all these miserable, sad people .he wanted to get out and cry but he got numbed and motionless.

My son the time i saw you ,you stole my heart since then and i have always loved you.
I am dying and you know why because i am so sad and i can't tolorate the seperation between you and me anymore. My hearted needed you to see but nobody paid no attention to it,so it started getting sicker and weaker and now is stopping.

people say to you i am dying but you should know that i am leaving here,and i'll be waiting over there for you to come and i'll be watching you.
You know it is like going for a vacation. like my long vacation before,you couldn't see me for long time,you remember.it's just like that.but it's actually better because it is warm and dark enough and peacefull and i can rest and watch you everyday. you know i can see everything in anywhere from there.
You can talk to me anytime you want ,but first you don't hear me but after a while you can concentrate better and hear me and you can see i am alway with you.
I can always tell you all your favourite stories.

The only one who can see me or hear me there is you.do you understand it? me with my death ,everything gets better for you and for me.you have always trusted me .i need you to trust me this time too. don't get sad with my death,even when you look at people crying,because they don't know our secret,they don't know i am going to be with you forever darling.

Be happy and don't tell anybody our secret.

son: are you having pain now?
mom: yes,but it will go away soon for ever.i will fall sleep , a peacefull ,deep one.you know i need it. i haven't been sleeping for years you know.

son:how long?
mom:2 years and half.but don't tell anyone.this is a secret too.

son:can you buy me anything from there?can you send them to me.
mom:i will give everything to you whenever i see you.okay.?
son:When i am going to be with you mom?
mom:you are always with me,son.
son:No i mean ,when i can get my gifts.
mom: this is a secret,i can't tell you.
son: ok.
son: do you know how does it look like there?
mom: yes ,so beautiful,as son as i get there ,i can chose to be with someone forever.someone whom i love the most and he does too.
son: What does love really mean?
mom: It is like the love and having relationship like we do .you and me.i love you and you love me.
son:Then would you choose me to be with?
mom: yes darling.
son:Thank you mom.
mom: I love you forever and goodbye.
son:Are you leaving now?you can't yoy told me you're gonna wait till i fifnish my painting.
mom:ok my love ,i am closing my eyes now,but you put your painting on my heart ,i can see it through my heart .trust me.
son:how?
mom:I can see everything throgh my eyes from now on.this is the true vision.you'll understand it later my son.
son:can i kiss you now.
mom: Sure,give me your hands.i love you.i am so happy for having you in my life.goodbye.
son: Goodbye mom.


after some time ,someone came to the room ,and saw him putting his painting on her heart and holding her hands and crying silently.
someone: she is dead.

everyone in the hospital started crying out and weeping.mom asked for her last moments of her life ,be alone with her son.so she was.

He was silent and watching them bring her beautiful body and putting it in the coffin.he was watchinh everything but didn't say a word.
Everything was black and sad.
He was thinkin about what his mom told him and was thinking what if she doesn't come to me? No it's impossible,she never lies to me and i trust her.it is a secret between us,i'll wait for her, and then he smiled.

I CAN SEE UNDER ROUND ,BUT I AM NOT TELLING NOBODY .bcause my mom says not to.so i don't tell them,but i paint it. everybody is couple there,just the ones whom theone they love is not dead yet,and they keep talking to him.like my mom talking to me.
But some people are sleeping alone and they are so sad,they don't love nobody and that why they are crying,mom says ,they are in hell. and people who are happy are in heaven.

I always want to be in love in order to be in heaven beside mom.
mom says i can even love more than one,the more people i love the happier i am .
I love verything around me,i love my dad,my grand parents,my dog,my room ,i love the sky and..the one i love the most is my mom.so when i get in to underground iwill go sleep beside her.
She is in love with everything ,she is in love with being.she is so happy and i am happy for her.


Grandma has been crying for years,since my mom died and she is so sick and she is dying;my mom says.
I always want to tell her my mom is happy and i can see her ,then she wouldn't be so sad,but my mom says this is the secret and i mustn't say it to someone even my grandmom.because if i tell the secret everything will fall apart,and i will never see my mom anymore .
Mom says when grandmother dies ,she will find it out herself.
Once i asked mom when my grandmom dies whom she will sleep beside ?she answered:grandpa
,they always have been in love.

Grandpa can't walk anymore and he ia always smoking and reading books,he stopped talking since my mom died.but i am sure he'll be happy soon,because grandma will die and she will tell him,how happy my mom is there and also he will be always seeing grandma ,like me seeing my mom .but he wont tell me,because it's a secret.
You know there are lots of people in this world who are carrying this secret and they are not telling anyone.

You know so many interesting stuff happens out there ,i mean under the ground.like i see a man who was a murderer in here,and he is sleeping beside a beautiful aoman there,in peace and happily.you know why because he was in love with someone ,he didn't go to hell.

My teacher doesn't like my paintings,becuse whenever she asked me about them and i am explaining it to her: t this is underground and these are dead people ,you see this woman sleeping beside her husband's brother ,her name is shelly and she asks why she is sleeping beside her brother in law,not her own husband?i would say:because these two are in love,and she doesn't like her husband.
The teacher gets so angry and she tells me i have forbidden thoughts.
They will send me to the psycologist if i keep painting these .
Mom says to stop painting them and i wont paint them any more.
Now the teacher likes my paintings,i am painting the sea ,the sunshine,the fish and thehouse in jungle.and all the people in my painting are alive.


I am passing by the street quickly,bacause mom sayin,the front car is carshing the other car and he will die soon.she says this driver will be always sad and goes to hell,i turn a second and look at him,his eyes. i feel sorry for him and get to the pedestrain. The accident happens and the blood is all over the place,people are scared.i run to get homw soon.

At night someone calls my dad.my mom is telling that it is my uncle whi is letting my dad know about grandma's death. after a while dad comes to me and tells me he wants to take me to a nice vacation and i look at him and give him a smile and say nothing.mom is saying he wants to take me to vacation to find the right moment to tell me about my grandma's death.
i say nothing to my father.

I always feel sorry for my dad,when he gets older and he dies ,he will be sad there ,because he doesn't truley love anyone.he himself always says he had loved my mom ,but she left him ,and never cameback to him.mom says that he ever had loved her and either he is lying or he doesn't know the true meaning of love. I trust mom and i wish i could say to dad what the real love means,but i won't,because this is a secret.

I go to grandpa's house and open the door,he gives me warm pleasant smile .i can see he is happy,his eyes. both of us keep the silenece without a word.


SaloumeNakhsaz







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