Sunday, December 07, 2008

In the name of FATE!!

In the name of FATE! “When the fate commands, the entire universe will come along in abeyance.” This is my belief. As I recall, I’d always believed in the human’s infinite power in controlling his life, until some tragedy opened my eyes to the true nature of life. 18 years ago, my cousin died of cancer at the age of 17, while she was insistently bargaining for the bright future, the stingy dealer, Fate, didn't consent in the end! She had diagnosed with leukemia three years before she died. She went through all the remedial therapies discovered by that time, six months later she was getting healthier for about a year, but she ended up saying goodbye to her life few years later. Actually, her time had been up from many years ago, but her parents and people who loved her did everything they could to postpone this departure; they thought they could fight with this unsympathetic fate and make it walk away from. Well, unfortunately the real fate doesn't work that way! I still remember, my cousin’s shouting, “help me, please help me,” from very far end of the deep ocean, my sister and I were there too, we were witnessing my cousin drowning deep in to the Caspian sea. we were scared to death, but our mouth was locked shout for a few minutes, because of the sudden, massive anxiety we fell into. My whole body was frozen, I was incapable to move closer or shout for any help for few seconds. My sister and I were the only people I could see around us. (That afternoon, three of us sneaked out from the hotel room, went for swimming without our parent’s permission.) Finally, after some life-savor minutes I pulled my self back to the sate of conscience and started screaming and crying, my sister started crying too. I was the oldest among three of us and my cousin was the youngest. I remember, the burden of guilt for not crying out for help faster to save my cousin’s life . The guilt was with me for a long time, till one day I learned the position of “destiny” in life! In that gloomy afternoon, my cousin didn't drown in the sea; she was saved by my mother who came out to the beach after she heard us screaming and few life guards who were cruising all over the sea to save human’s lives, or in the other word, to encounter fate. The story didn't end here and the happily ever after did not last long ; seven years later, one day, fate came over my cousin's bedside one more time, waked her up, & gave her a kiss of Leukemia. She was 14 by then. This time my aunt and uncle tried every existing possibility in the universe to set her free from leukemia. They took the best recognizable doctors to her bedside, prayed, loved and helped the poor. But nothing could change the fate’s mind. She died two days after my 19th birthday. Her name was Farnaz, and we all loved her so much. She was smart, passionate and happy. She was like a sweet little angel, beautiful and peaceful. Watching the non-negotiator “destiny" taking her away from life made me promise one thing to myself : that I would live my life like there is no tomorrow, until the day Fate-with its firm smile- walks in to my bedside. On that day I wont turn my back or look the other way. instead I will smile back and wait..! Salome N. Saz