unexpected

Now again it’s the time to move on, to take my belongings and Put them in a new place. It’s been years I am doing this, and every time my possessions are getting less and less than before, I have tried so hard to be more free handed, but still there are things I have taken them with me everywhere I went.
This is the path I had chosen long time ago and I had kept my promise: not to call any place home, not to put my feet down on one piece for long, living like a flying bird, till I find it by my heart.
I had been looking at my shelter as a safe and sound place to lie down on there and rest a little and move on.
I used to think of them as a solitude cave; as a shelter to let my own people in, as a quite place to make plans for my next move.
And I had always cherished each moment I spent,anywhere I lived, with anyone I liked; knowing saying good-bye is coming ahead eventually by time.
and the "time" was always unknown.

But, This time is not like the others. I ‘m already aware of my next move, I am not living in this new place for long and I already know I shouldn’t make any passionate relationship with my new place; in my new place, I am obliging myself not to get attached to it by all strength, because I must leave in advance and it is going to be too early.
This time, I must leave to make home somewhere faraway. Yes this time, this new place is going to be my last own self-safe haven.
I feel weird. I feel scared and I feel happy at the same time.
I feel distant with my own self. I know I am acting as I promised. I am going to make that commitment, comes true; for myself and for his love.
I am going to welcome the two-selves. I am going to hold his hand and hand him my company, consistency and my love forever.
I am certain my time has come , and I must prove my devotion and fidelity.
But something has taken place, which I never had expected:
I am packing my belongings with tears, knowing this is the last time I am taking them with me. This is the last place they are my acquaintances; so certain that I’ll take the last glance at them before long.
These days, every corner I am stepping in to, whom ever I am with, reminds me of all the ups and downs I have had in here in this land, my shoulders shrug. I feel I could have called this soil home. I feel I could have had all my beautiful minded friends forever, and I feel my resistance to leave, I feel the warmth here, and I feel that if it wasn’t for him, if it wasn’t for my belief in love, I would have stayed here forever, embraced all the ones I care for harder, whispered softly:
Here, is my homeland, and you are part of it.