If there is a river via the astonishment of the ocean, if there is a dark sky via the brightness of the star, if there is a cry via the peace in mind, if there is a broken heart via the comfort of love, if there is a restrict prophet via the guidance of life. If there is a disease via the joy of health. If there is distance via the happiness of closeness.
If, There is a half moon via the pleasure of the shining surrounding sun,
If there is a devil spirit via the warmth of a heart. If there is a poor via the poverty of affluent. If there is an ugly appearance via the attraction of a beautiful face.
I partially consent the existence of both misery and the fortune, in order to get the human’s enticement and appreciation.
What makes me wonder and suspicious, is the role of diligence and split ion of these two opposites among creatures.
1-I wonder if there is any explicit assessment or supervision, in order to warrant a human, lives a miserable or a fortunate state? Whose life is going to be chosen as a melancholy via the brightness of someone else’s happiness?
2-And if there is a specific arrangement for this evaluation, what is this classification based on?
3-Or is this sorting running just by an incident of a coincidence?
Wednesday, August 30, 2006
you wish
He: you know ,you and me have a lot in common. Eians and ...ians have the same attitudes, gestures and backgrounds.
She: not a bit.
He: ... is so awful to live in lately. Like all the other AR countries.
She: not at all, , although I have nothing against ARs . But Just to let you know.
He: I know , we Eians are not ARs either.
I am sorry for M...ms though. Women with their long veils. All covered up, jailed in their caves. It’s good we are not M...m .
She: this is not true I have born M...m. So I am M...m. Although I am not religious, but I respect all ideas and religions as long as selfishness doesn’t interfere with that.
They are all the same to me. I have no offensive mind about them.
He: are you enjoying your freedom here? walking around Without any cover? If you were in ...like this, you would have been arrested, and they would have been called you a whore.
She: you are wrong ... is not like this. I am a free human everywhere I am. (She knows by heart she is not telling the truth, the freedom of minds, the freedom of thought, the freedom of talk. These words are forbidden for many many years in ...)
He: why you are getting upset? this is a certain fact. If ...was pleasant enough, you wouldn’t be here today. If not so, then why did you leave your own land?
Her face carries the expression of grief, her heart is broken. She feels so drained, and unable to criticize satisfyingly his hurtful behavior, unable to protect her native land. Unable to use proper supportive words for her own root.
She looks with disgust through his eyes, and says:
Because one day, a massive group of polluted minded, hopping mad animals, women harassers, natural born killers , blinded souls took away my mother land, my spirit from me.
what happened there had nothing to do with any religion, but the defection of the human’s indulgence.
I am staying here till I regain my strength, and take back what has been taken from me.
He smiled and said : you wish.
She: not a bit.
He: ... is so awful to live in lately. Like all the other AR countries.
She: not at all, , although I have nothing against ARs . But Just to let you know.
He: I know , we Eians are not ARs either.
I am sorry for M...ms though. Women with their long veils. All covered up, jailed in their caves. It’s good we are not M...m .
She: this is not true I have born M...m. So I am M...m. Although I am not religious, but I respect all ideas and religions as long as selfishness doesn’t interfere with that.
They are all the same to me. I have no offensive mind about them.
He: are you enjoying your freedom here? walking around Without any cover? If you were in ...like this, you would have been arrested, and they would have been called you a whore.
She: you are wrong ... is not like this. I am a free human everywhere I am. (She knows by heart she is not telling the truth, the freedom of minds, the freedom of thought, the freedom of talk. These words are forbidden for many many years in ...)
He: why you are getting upset? this is a certain fact. If ...was pleasant enough, you wouldn’t be here today. If not so, then why did you leave your own land?
Her face carries the expression of grief, her heart is broken. She feels so drained, and unable to criticize satisfyingly his hurtful behavior, unable to protect her native land. Unable to use proper supportive words for her own root.
She looks with disgust through his eyes, and says:
Because one day, a massive group of polluted minded, hopping mad animals, women harassers, natural born killers , blinded souls took away my mother land, my spirit from me.
what happened there had nothing to do with any religion, but the defection of the human’s indulgence.
I am staying here till I regain my strength, and take back what has been taken from me.
He smiled and said : you wish.
Monday, August 28, 2006
unexpected
Now again it’s the time to move on, to take my belongings and Put them in a new place. It’s been years I am doing this, and every time my possessions are getting less and less than before, I have tried so hard to be more free handed, but still there are things I have taken them with me everywhere I went.
This is the path I had chosen long time ago and I had kept my promise: not to call any place home, not to put my feet down on one piece for long, living like a flying bird, till I find it by my heart.
I had been looking at my shelter as a safe and sound place to lie down on there and rest a little and move on.
I used to think of them as a solitude cave; as a shelter to let my own people in, as a quite place to make plans for my next move.
And I had always cherished each moment I spent,anywhere I lived, with anyone I liked; knowing saying good-bye is coming ahead eventually by time.
and the "time" was always unknown.
But, This time is not like the others. I ‘m already aware of my next move, I am not living in this new place for long and I already know I shouldn’t make any passionate relationship with my new place; in my new place, I am obliging myself not to get attached to it by all strength, because I must leave in advance and it is going to be too early.
This time, I must leave to make home somewhere faraway. Yes this time, this new place is going to be my last own self-safe haven.
I feel weird. I feel scared and I feel happy at the same time.
I feel distant with my own self. I know I am acting as I promised. I am going to make that commitment, comes true; for myself and for his love.
I am going to welcome the two-selves. I am going to hold his hand and hand him my company, consistency and my love forever.
I am certain my time has come , and I must prove my devotion and fidelity.
But something has taken place, which I never had expected:
I am packing my belongings with tears, knowing this is the last time I am taking them with me. This is the last place they are my acquaintances; so certain that I’ll take the last glance at them before long.
These days, every corner I am stepping in to, whom ever I am with, reminds me of all the ups and downs I have had in here in this land, my shoulders shrug. I feel I could have called this soil home. I feel I could have had all my beautiful minded friends forever, and I feel my resistance to leave, I feel the warmth here, and I feel that if it wasn’t for him, if it wasn’t for my belief in love, I would have stayed here forever, embraced all the ones I care for harder, whispered softly:
Here, is my homeland, and you are part of it.
This is the path I had chosen long time ago and I had kept my promise: not to call any place home, not to put my feet down on one piece for long, living like a flying bird, till I find it by my heart.
I had been looking at my shelter as a safe and sound place to lie down on there and rest a little and move on.
I used to think of them as a solitude cave; as a shelter to let my own people in, as a quite place to make plans for my next move.
And I had always cherished each moment I spent,anywhere I lived, with anyone I liked; knowing saying good-bye is coming ahead eventually by time.
and the "time" was always unknown.
But, This time is not like the others. I ‘m already aware of my next move, I am not living in this new place for long and I already know I shouldn’t make any passionate relationship with my new place; in my new place, I am obliging myself not to get attached to it by all strength, because I must leave in advance and it is going to be too early.
This time, I must leave to make home somewhere faraway. Yes this time, this new place is going to be my last own self-safe haven.
I feel weird. I feel scared and I feel happy at the same time.
I feel distant with my own self. I know I am acting as I promised. I am going to make that commitment, comes true; for myself and for his love.
I am going to welcome the two-selves. I am going to hold his hand and hand him my company, consistency and my love forever.
I am certain my time has come , and I must prove my devotion and fidelity.
But something has taken place, which I never had expected:
I am packing my belongings with tears, knowing this is the last time I am taking them with me. This is the last place they are my acquaintances; so certain that I’ll take the last glance at them before long.
These days, every corner I am stepping in to, whom ever I am with, reminds me of all the ups and downs I have had in here in this land, my shoulders shrug. I feel I could have called this soil home. I feel I could have had all my beautiful minded friends forever, and I feel my resistance to leave, I feel the warmth here, and I feel that if it wasn’t for him, if it wasn’t for my belief in love, I would have stayed here forever, embraced all the ones I care for harder, whispered softly:
Here, is my homeland, and you are part of it.
Saturday, August 26, 2006
to be or not to be
One night, a guy covered in grey came close , and whispered the truth of love. At that night her life began. her heart trembled,and she became a woman.
she prmised him that if one day he leaves:
If he comes back to her, she shall exist, and if not , her exsitence is uncertain.
If this life is this without him, no more breath is her request.
If her laughter is without his company, her in tears is her wish.
If her lips couldn’t get the sweet taste of his skin, and if her hands cannot touch his warm shoulders, ending her part in this scene is her demand.
at last:
She betrayed him, she betrayed him, and she betrayed him. She told him she has no more feelings for him, she told him her being with him is putting her down, she told him, he is suspicious of being dominated. she made him guilty by no witness, by no excuse. She made him broken heart by no fears. She made him empty hearted by taking all the feelings away from his soul.
She is guilty by all means.
she prmised him that if one day he leaves:
If he comes back to her, she shall exist, and if not , her exsitence is uncertain.
If this life is this without him, no more breath is her request.
If her laughter is without his company, her in tears is her wish.
If her lips couldn’t get the sweet taste of his skin, and if her hands cannot touch his warm shoulders, ending her part in this scene is her demand.
at last:
She betrayed him, she betrayed him, and she betrayed him. She told him she has no more feelings for him, she told him her being with him is putting her down, she told him, he is suspicious of being dominated. she made him guilty by no witness, by no excuse. She made him broken heart by no fears. She made him empty hearted by taking all the feelings away from his soul.
She is guilty by all means.
i am belonged
what have I done, dim deeds, I have no justification for that.
Before, I was so fearless about every thing, about every feature in this life. Especially about any human’s act. Now it is time I believe in curse. In people’s frightful hate, in resentment. They destroy our happiness, and our love darling, darling darling I am in tears
Darling it’s been so many years, I am trying to show you the real depth of my love for you, and you are still uncertain
since I promised you the beauty of harmony and the loyalty of innocence, I am so sober from any dreadful guilt. Blinded and occupied with last experiment of my making love with you and all the feelings and senses and thoughts. I have been worshiping you since I've become a real woman, since I've recognized the beauty of women's kind, since I've discovered my trembling heart.
I am in the crowd and my eyes are looking for you for your steps forward, although you are not among this crowd, although you are so far way, although I suffer the pain of reserve.
Darlings don’t turn your back to me. Whatever I said was so unworthy for you to rely on ?
Shame on me, shame on me,why I am acting so reckless, so dishonorable, I am in love and I showed you my cold inattention.
Darling what I said was as priceless as bubbling in the water,
I am certain of my diminishness, if you leave me forever
I swear to god whom I believe because of your existence, that you are all my reason to take the whole breath.
witouht you, my Life will get the color of my eyes, my thought, and my whole being.; massive black.
I did an unforgivable sin and saying:I’m sorry is not enough,
but I am sorry.
Before, I was so fearless about every thing, about every feature in this life. Especially about any human’s act. Now it is time I believe in curse. In people’s frightful hate, in resentment. They destroy our happiness, and our love darling, darling darling I am in tears
Darling it’s been so many years, I am trying to show you the real depth of my love for you, and you are still uncertain
since I promised you the beauty of harmony and the loyalty of innocence, I am so sober from any dreadful guilt. Blinded and occupied with last experiment of my making love with you and all the feelings and senses and thoughts. I have been worshiping you since I've become a real woman, since I've recognized the beauty of women's kind, since I've discovered my trembling heart.
I am in the crowd and my eyes are looking for you for your steps forward, although you are not among this crowd, although you are so far way, although I suffer the pain of reserve.
Darlings don’t turn your back to me. Whatever I said was so unworthy for you to rely on ?
Shame on me, shame on me,why I am acting so reckless, so dishonorable, I am in love and I showed you my cold inattention.
Darling what I said was as priceless as bubbling in the water,
I am certain of my diminishness, if you leave me forever
I swear to god whom I believe because of your existence, that you are all my reason to take the whole breath.
witouht you, my Life will get the color of my eyes, my thought, and my whole being.; massive black.
I did an unforgivable sin and saying:I’m sorry is not enough,
but I am sorry.
Friday, August 18, 2006
just one little advice and no more, i promise
Shake your soul, shake your mind, shake your body and move.
Take your backpack; hit the road, to somewhere, anywhere, which was unnoticed to you. You feel great afterwards. There is nothing better than traveling all over the world. you can do for yourself as a lesson for your life, as a pleasure for your soul, and as a memory in your mind.
Keep up with it; eventually, you’ll see the difference.
The more you see the unseen, the more detached you get from the acquisitive life, and more distant you feel to lavishness, it is a reason behind this, and the reason is:
You can’t take all your belongings with you everywhere you go and after a while you’ll be an expert and you’ll take as less and as sufficient stuff you could take. You learn how to separate your life from gibberish and any tittle-tattle and all the hopeless and ineffective relationships. Nothing irrelevant can satisfy you any more, because you have changed a lot by time, because you have observed the real meaning of being alive. And your joy is much advanced. So no matter what you do, no matter what individuality you have, move on with your life and take these steps, as long as you are not living your life in a forbidden place, you are able to do so, in the forbidden land, nobody is allowed to see the unseen.
Every day in my life, every morning I wake up, I am pleased and satisfied with my decision of abandoning my homeland by my heart. So I could live my life by witnessing my dreams are coming through every day, day by day.
Life is too short to be insensitive or impassive even for 1 breath, take the steps; you will see the diversity of your life....
Take your backpack; hit the road, to somewhere, anywhere, which was unnoticed to you. You feel great afterwards. There is nothing better than traveling all over the world. you can do for yourself as a lesson for your life, as a pleasure for your soul, and as a memory in your mind.
Keep up with it; eventually, you’ll see the difference.
The more you see the unseen, the more detached you get from the acquisitive life, and more distant you feel to lavishness, it is a reason behind this, and the reason is:
You can’t take all your belongings with you everywhere you go and after a while you’ll be an expert and you’ll take as less and as sufficient stuff you could take. You learn how to separate your life from gibberish and any tittle-tattle and all the hopeless and ineffective relationships. Nothing irrelevant can satisfy you any more, because you have changed a lot by time, because you have observed the real meaning of being alive. And your joy is much advanced. So no matter what you do, no matter what individuality you have, move on with your life and take these steps, as long as you are not living your life in a forbidden place, you are able to do so, in the forbidden land, nobody is allowed to see the unseen.
Every day in my life, every morning I wake up, I am pleased and satisfied with my decision of abandoning my homeland by my heart. So I could live my life by witnessing my dreams are coming through every day, day by day.
Life is too short to be insensitive or impassive even for 1 breath, take the steps; you will see the diversity of your life....
Monday, August 14, 2006
will power
Since the beginning of the life, the story has been drummed into every human kind: willpower and the truth can do anything.
She thought she is something special, she thought she could fly up to the sky; she thought she was gifted with the will power at birth. She thought she is a virile.
Here, in the middle of the crowed, alienated.
No one here would give off a small glint that would help her find her way out of the dark. .
She swears she told the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth.
But, her spectacular will, however much she trusts it, however persistent it may have been up until now, is not able to deal with her shuddering shoulders or her short breath.
At the end:
Are you alive? (They ask)
Certainly I am. (She cries)
Objection (her body shouts)
Her body contradicts her; the tremor in her chin reveals her fatality. Her body knows before she does that she will be fallen headlong, because of her will, because of her truth.
i guess it is the end of the life.
She thought she is something special, she thought she could fly up to the sky; she thought she was gifted with the will power at birth. She thought she is a virile.
Here, in the middle of the crowed, alienated.
No one here would give off a small glint that would help her find her way out of the dark. .
She swears she told the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth.
But, her spectacular will, however much she trusts it, however persistent it may have been up until now, is not able to deal with her shuddering shoulders or her short breath.
At the end:
Are you alive? (They ask)
Certainly I am. (She cries)
Objection (her body shouts)
Her body contradicts her; the tremor in her chin reveals her fatality. Her body knows before she does that she will be fallen headlong, because of her will, because of her truth.
i guess it is the end of the life.
Thursday, August 10, 2006
a mistake!
if you could cool down in "hell", then deny "heaven".
by any chance,isn't this what we do every day in our lives?
what am i talking about. ofcourse not!
i'm sorry, my mistake.
by any chance,isn't this what we do every day in our lives?
what am i talking about. ofcourse not!
i'm sorry, my mistake.
Wednesday, August 09, 2006
creative calculus
It’s time for you to start your accurate sum; lets see what you’ll get. (She says)
I am exited to start, the numbers on the paper are casting off, I see turmoil, and anxiety in their eyes, their perfect personification of innocence shows they are scared of misjudge.
Don’t worry; I am not here for any malice. You wretched numbers. It’s time to put you where you are belonged. (I say)
How amazing it is, giving life to these beautiful numbers, each of them has unique specialty, they are so delicate and raw (I say)
I add those who want to be together, who want to be united, who are in love.
I minus those who don’t have any desire to be related. Who need to be separated; who look for the new beginning, the new life.
I multiple the ones who are eager to move up, fly together, reach to the eternity, to the sun.
I divide those who are eager to help, who want to share everything with their own kinds, who are so generous, and so kind.
And I let the rest be as they are. Because, They are afraid of any transform in their lives, they are happy as they are; they are not willing to struggle.
Look at them, they have much-vaunted supreme dignity of the human being, so much more than wretched numbers of a piece of damp paper. I am a connoisseur of the truth. They are placed where they are belonged, without being contradicted by mistrust. This riddle is done with no blithe. (I say)
Is this your result? (She asks)
Yes, (I answer)
I sniff out the transgression of your mind. Move on, or I’ll declare your calculation is deceitful and false.you, Clear this mess up, Or I'll recognize you as one of those skeptical experts. (She retorts angrily)
Have I suddenly become an obscene and rude? Have I fallen into disuse? Yes she is right there is no chance to go beyond this academic hypothesis. (I am fearful)
Now it’s time to dismiss the dignity in human kind blithely. It’s time to malice. These numbers should be drowned ignominiously.( I am fearful)
After many dozens of meters of squiggled-on, scribbled on paper. My job is done. (I feel safe)
This idea was as sudden as lightning flash illuminating the night, which made me rise the numbers. Now I deny it outright. (you know why ).
saloume nakhsaz
I am exited to start, the numbers on the paper are casting off, I see turmoil, and anxiety in their eyes, their perfect personification of innocence shows they are scared of misjudge.
Don’t worry; I am not here for any malice. You wretched numbers. It’s time to put you where you are belonged. (I say)
How amazing it is, giving life to these beautiful numbers, each of them has unique specialty, they are so delicate and raw (I say)
I add those who want to be together, who want to be united, who are in love.
I minus those who don’t have any desire to be related. Who need to be separated; who look for the new beginning, the new life.
I multiple the ones who are eager to move up, fly together, reach to the eternity, to the sun.
I divide those who are eager to help, who want to share everything with their own kinds, who are so generous, and so kind.
And I let the rest be as they are. Because, They are afraid of any transform in their lives, they are happy as they are; they are not willing to struggle.
Look at them, they have much-vaunted supreme dignity of the human being, so much more than wretched numbers of a piece of damp paper. I am a connoisseur of the truth. They are placed where they are belonged, without being contradicted by mistrust. This riddle is done with no blithe. (I say)
Is this your result? (She asks)
Yes, (I answer)
I sniff out the transgression of your mind. Move on, or I’ll declare your calculation is deceitful and false.you, Clear this mess up, Or I'll recognize you as one of those skeptical experts. (She retorts angrily)
Have I suddenly become an obscene and rude? Have I fallen into disuse? Yes she is right there is no chance to go beyond this academic hypothesis. (I am fearful)
Now it’s time to dismiss the dignity in human kind blithely. It’s time to malice. These numbers should be drowned ignominiously.( I am fearful)
After many dozens of meters of squiggled-on, scribbled on paper. My job is done. (I feel safe)
This idea was as sudden as lightning flash illuminating the night, which made me rise the numbers. Now I deny it outright. (you know why ).
saloume nakhsaz
Sunday, August 06, 2006
romance
No body knows what’s in my heart my angel.
No body knows what’s in my mind my angel.
Look at this crowd, blinded eyes, and cold hearts. With charming smiles, I shouted; turn off the lights, it is the sparkling sky showing off it’s beauty, but they are so blind, ya they need these chandleries to make their dark hallways brighter, but hush, they are in solid dark,
Time is passing by so light and they still are mortals, and I am capable of coming out of this solitary.
Day by day I feel lonelier than the day before, and I need to be united with you, whom I love, but darling you are so far, and I am among these lifeless breathers.
Darling days are waiting for you to come and I am counting the hours, the minutes, the seconds and the 10’Th of the seconds, and….
Every blood in my vain is getting its life by your love.
My eyes were looking at these dark minded once but my heart was always belonged to you and just you, my heart is playing as a cold rock among them, here is not a safe place to open my delicate heart which is made only to beat for your steps and your smiles and the feeling of your touch and to suffer from your absence, yes darling my heart has learned how to suffer in silence and pretend to be so unruffled with distance.
I am judged by this crowd for being unreachable by heart, but there is someone in this humankind that has seen the truth of my heart, my nature, and my soul, and I am in no need of stranger’s trust.
The value of my existence has begun with..
No body knows what’s in my mind my angel.
Look at this crowd, blinded eyes, and cold hearts. With charming smiles, I shouted; turn off the lights, it is the sparkling sky showing off it’s beauty, but they are so blind, ya they need these chandleries to make their dark hallways brighter, but hush, they are in solid dark,
Time is passing by so light and they still are mortals, and I am capable of coming out of this solitary.
Day by day I feel lonelier than the day before, and I need to be united with you, whom I love, but darling you are so far, and I am among these lifeless breathers.
Darling days are waiting for you to come and I am counting the hours, the minutes, the seconds and the 10’Th of the seconds, and….
Every blood in my vain is getting its life by your love.
My eyes were looking at these dark minded once but my heart was always belonged to you and just you, my heart is playing as a cold rock among them, here is not a safe place to open my delicate heart which is made only to beat for your steps and your smiles and the feeling of your touch and to suffer from your absence, yes darling my heart has learned how to suffer in silence and pretend to be so unruffled with distance.
I am judged by this crowd for being unreachable by heart, but there is someone in this humankind that has seen the truth of my heart, my nature, and my soul, and I am in no need of stranger’s trust.
The value of my existence has begun with..
Thursday, August 03, 2006
she fails
Her life: too short
Number of unobserved: too many
Her ambition: seeing the unseen.
Her attachments: too many
Her Plan to reach her goal: detaching herself of any affection
Her plan: fails
Number of unobserved: too many
Her ambition: seeing the unseen.
Her attachments: too many
Her Plan to reach her goal: detaching herself of any affection
Her plan: fails
life
No matter how hard I try to run faster, my feet won’t let me not to stop.
No matter how hard I try to be detached, my heart won’t let me to ignore it.
No matter how hard I try to learn, my mind won’t let me not to get distracted,
No matter how hard I try to be focused, my eyes won’t let me not to see around.
No matter how hard I try to be one, it will be one day, that my soul, will stop me, will show me that corner, my eyes will shine, my heart will tremble and I’ll see him .
I will smile.
saloume
No matter how hard I try to be detached, my heart won’t let me to ignore it.
No matter how hard I try to learn, my mind won’t let me not to get distracted,
No matter how hard I try to be focused, my eyes won’t let me not to see around.
No matter how hard I try to be one, it will be one day, that my soul, will stop me, will show me that corner, my eyes will shine, my heart will tremble and I’ll see him .
I will smile.
saloume
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