What is with me?
What is with all happiness beneath my soul?
Was love that strong before?
Was I blind before?
How I didn’t move the mount with this power before?
How I didn’t cross the forbidden river long time ago?
Maybe it’s my age, my feelings and emotions getting ripened and more delicate.
He cried out last night, he moaned and I was close to madness.
Today he is smiling and full of hope and desire, and I’m content and so joyful.
What is love going to do with my soul?
What is with hidden passion among all forbidden thoughts and silence?
Now I’m exploring to the entire brightness and not ashamed a little for my enormous love dogged in my soul.
What did this love did for me? It made everything absolutely impossible, turned to most possible and pleasurable moments.
Who made this name for this misteriouse”love”?
I have never thought about its power and dignity in my vain, in my blood and my heart.
I’m in love and I was always been and I’ll be always being in it, I am so passionate and pleased with my feelings, with my never-ending joy and love.
It’s all about love.
What do people live without sensing this energetic, desirable and joyful love.
I’m so sorry for them.
Maybe I am chosen by this power, by god to be happy and content at the end , by this sense, by this passion which is love
It’s all over me, it’s all over the lands and it’s in the shining stars.
I’m dancing peaceful by moonlight, at night, moon is smiling at me. In the morning sun is welcoming me to the earth and sunset will again let me in to the stage to dance again one more time.
I’m mingling to the lights and t the shadows and to the sky.
I say hello to the birds and to the seashore and to the mounts.
I cherish each moment of my life and I love to be alive and I want the time stops and I will be never losing these unexplainable moments of my life.
I’m so in love, he is smiling, I’m content. He is proud, I’m dancing. He is thankful, I’m drunk.
I love him to death, to the end of massive light.
I love him as a mother loves her child, as god loves his human, as a kid loves his mom.
I love him as a guitar plays it’s song, as the birds singing love songs as the rivers join the ocean, as the cloud makes it’s rain, as the flower smiles to the sun. As God looks at me, from up there towards down.
I’m in love.
Monday, January 23, 2006
love is heaven
The world can still be appealing, so charming. I love it when he is smiling.
The world can be fulfilled with happiness and my dreams can be coming through .I’m stepping up towards it
The world is not just about misery and soreness.
I’m so joyful and content, for my love’s expansion and victory. I’m so delighted. Thrilled.
I wish him the best in his entire life, forever. And I’ll be always with him with all my heart and passion, hoping he is fine and content. He deserves it. He deserves all the best. He is my love.
He was always like a beautiful boat, which i always admired, from the distance and from faraway, and now it’s getting close to the time to get in to the boat and be floating on the river, I’ll go anywhere he takes me to. I’ll never leave him alone, I promise that deeply in my soul in my spirit. with every breath i take.
I love him, for what he is and for his love.
His happiness makes my life, my moments like shining stars. I’m shining in my heart; my heart is trembling for his success. He worked so hard to make everything right and make our wish to come through. I appreciate his intelligence and his patience, and his love.
I wish I could be the one he always imagined of me. I wish I can make him the luckiest human on this earth. I love him. Deeply, truly and I am so relieved. He made it.
He is happy and content , I wish I was there with him, side by side and I could have shared my happiness with him,look at his eyes,whisper, how much I am proud and pleased.
I believe in god, I believe in happiness and I believe that, true and real dream will come true one day, but patience is required with love.
I have no fear anymore; I’m not scared of getting lostanymore. Now I’m sure I will never be forgotten in god’s eyes.
I’ll be always there for him, even if he is far far away.
I know I’ll be waiting for him, no matter how long it takes, I’ll be here and anywhere he desires of, just for him. He is the one. What else on earth resembles briefer, and more powerful than my love for him?
I’ll cry with his sorrow and I laugh with his laughters. I admire his footsteps, when he is walking along, his smile when he is thoughtful and his soft love, when he is looking at me. His pure soul and innocent heart.
I love him and I believe, God exists with all his power and sincerity, because he gave my love back to me.
There is still hope and happiness in here. Yes there is. I’m so thankful.
The world can be fulfilled with happiness and my dreams can be coming through .I’m stepping up towards it
The world is not just about misery and soreness.
I’m so joyful and content, for my love’s expansion and victory. I’m so delighted. Thrilled.
I wish him the best in his entire life, forever. And I’ll be always with him with all my heart and passion, hoping he is fine and content. He deserves it. He deserves all the best. He is my love.
He was always like a beautiful boat, which i always admired, from the distance and from faraway, and now it’s getting close to the time to get in to the boat and be floating on the river, I’ll go anywhere he takes me to. I’ll never leave him alone, I promise that deeply in my soul in my spirit. with every breath i take.
I love him, for what he is and for his love.
His happiness makes my life, my moments like shining stars. I’m shining in my heart; my heart is trembling for his success. He worked so hard to make everything right and make our wish to come through. I appreciate his intelligence and his patience, and his love.
I wish I could be the one he always imagined of me. I wish I can make him the luckiest human on this earth. I love him. Deeply, truly and I am so relieved. He made it.
He is happy and content , I wish I was there with him, side by side and I could have shared my happiness with him,look at his eyes,whisper, how much I am proud and pleased.
I believe in god, I believe in happiness and I believe that, true and real dream will come true one day, but patience is required with love.
I have no fear anymore; I’m not scared of getting lostanymore. Now I’m sure I will never be forgotten in god’s eyes.
I’ll be always there for him, even if he is far far away.
I know I’ll be waiting for him, no matter how long it takes, I’ll be here and anywhere he desires of, just for him. He is the one. What else on earth resembles briefer, and more powerful than my love for him?
I’ll cry with his sorrow and I laugh with his laughters. I admire his footsteps, when he is walking along, his smile when he is thoughtful and his soft love, when he is looking at me. His pure soul and innocent heart.
I love him and I believe, God exists with all his power and sincerity, because he gave my love back to me.
There is still hope and happiness in here. Yes there is. I’m so thankful.
Sunday, January 22, 2006
nothing is in people's hands
Nothing is in people’s hands.
They’re just actors, in different sides of this enormous the human race; they smile and cry whenever they’re told to do so.
Staying behind and looking at this dreadful unhappiness coming along side their body. It’s a grief. You feel it, you suffer, and you can do nothing.
People’s relation between them. Something which they’ve been said, it’s in their blood to love their own siblings and parents and husbands and wives. Why?
You are my sister so I love you I must have this feeling inside me, we have born from same place and our parents are the same.
Then what is it with loving somebody far from your nature and blood. You feel shy and nervous whenever you look at him and you’re close to the edge of madness, that one you call it love as well. you want to die for him , and after a while he cheats on you , or you’ll do, it doesn’t matter, cheating shouldn’t be physical, you cheat when you don’t think about him that much or when you don’t love him as you did before, that is having affair, because, you have resentful for your own heart , your own soul. I call it affair. You both y feel coldness and distance and you need to fill your time with the others.
You haven’t see your siblings for long time, because you are an actor you have to be anywhere you’ve been told to go and after a while you see them again with an stranger whom she says he is her husband , it’s so funny and ridiculous because you’ve been said you must love him too, why? Because he is my brother in law, a mother should be loved by her child, even though she never was there for him, just because she was the one who gave birth to the child. What nonsense.
You must let them in. let them in your heart and in your home and take care of them, because they are your relatives, where is morals and where is your own choice and your own manner, where is your own self?
It’s all over, it’s all over.
They put somebody up there, and they tell you, you must praise and worship him, why?
Because he is the king and this kingdom goes to his family or to his acquaintances, to people like him. To sheep like him, who is he himself, he is another actor, he is the silliest, he has more responsibilities than the simple one.
One day they decide that he is not obeying that much, so they let him go, they throw him out. And they will call it his retirement.
They put someone else somewhere up and they tell you he is the judge and he is the one who will decide weather you shall live or die. Whatever he says is the law. I pity this law.
Where are you, where is the real you? What is happening to you?
They call some lands .free lands and when you go look at t deeper you see nothing whcich represents freedom. Hey call some else religious lands, when you get in there. You see everything else but true religion. There is no heart and sincerity. They rape the tulips right away and they call it sanity.
They are not satisfied yet, so they build some holly places and they call on people to go and pray there, so they can get their wishes come true and their guilt goes away. Nobody ever asked who is in there, why we go in there to pray and worship? We can pray anywhere, what is difference. What is with praying, admiring?
What is with scarification and forgetting your own self for something else someone else?
Why not walking around, and do your stuff, without any must, without any obligation, without any orders. What is wrong with liking something, without being told to do it or feel it? What is wrong with giving a hand to a stranger without being any relation, just you and your heart and you, and your choice?
They’re just actors, in different sides of this enormous the human race; they smile and cry whenever they’re told to do so.
Staying behind and looking at this dreadful unhappiness coming along side their body. It’s a grief. You feel it, you suffer, and you can do nothing.
People’s relation between them. Something which they’ve been said, it’s in their blood to love their own siblings and parents and husbands and wives. Why?
You are my sister so I love you I must have this feeling inside me, we have born from same place and our parents are the same.
Then what is it with loving somebody far from your nature and blood. You feel shy and nervous whenever you look at him and you’re close to the edge of madness, that one you call it love as well. you want to die for him , and after a while he cheats on you , or you’ll do, it doesn’t matter, cheating shouldn’t be physical, you cheat when you don’t think about him that much or when you don’t love him as you did before, that is having affair, because, you have resentful for your own heart , your own soul. I call it affair. You both y feel coldness and distance and you need to fill your time with the others.
You haven’t see your siblings for long time, because you are an actor you have to be anywhere you’ve been told to go and after a while you see them again with an stranger whom she says he is her husband , it’s so funny and ridiculous because you’ve been said you must love him too, why? Because he is my brother in law, a mother should be loved by her child, even though she never was there for him, just because she was the one who gave birth to the child. What nonsense.
You must let them in. let them in your heart and in your home and take care of them, because they are your relatives, where is morals and where is your own choice and your own manner, where is your own self?
It’s all over, it’s all over.
They put somebody up there, and they tell you, you must praise and worship him, why?
Because he is the king and this kingdom goes to his family or to his acquaintances, to people like him. To sheep like him, who is he himself, he is another actor, he is the silliest, he has more responsibilities than the simple one.
One day they decide that he is not obeying that much, so they let him go, they throw him out. And they will call it his retirement.
They put someone else somewhere up and they tell you he is the judge and he is the one who will decide weather you shall live or die. Whatever he says is the law. I pity this law.
Where are you, where is the real you? What is happening to you?
They call some lands .free lands and when you go look at t deeper you see nothing whcich represents freedom. Hey call some else religious lands, when you get in there. You see everything else but true religion. There is no heart and sincerity. They rape the tulips right away and they call it sanity.
They are not satisfied yet, so they build some holly places and they call on people to go and pray there, so they can get their wishes come true and their guilt goes away. Nobody ever asked who is in there, why we go in there to pray and worship? We can pray anywhere, what is difference. What is with praying, admiring?
What is with scarification and forgetting your own self for something else someone else?
Why not walking around, and do your stuff, without any must, without any obligation, without any orders. What is wrong with liking something, without being told to do it or feel it? What is wrong with giving a hand to a stranger without being any relation, just you and your heart and you, and your choice?
Friday, January 13, 2006
LISTEN TO ME
Listen to me.
Soul is shouting out: listen to me .he’s sobbing.
God told me: I purred a little sip of the tasty wine in your heart, so you my dear get your heart touch your love and pass the tasty wine to him, to every one in the universe, so they can get the tenderness and the sweet taste of it.
Tell that sea bird to go to the entire earth and pass my sincere love to the humankind.
I’m awarding you with this that love still exists; in your hearts and in your souls. Cherish you; mingle around the fire, fire of senses, fire of touches, and fire of GOD.
GOD still exists; looking at me, watching me carefully, so nobody can harm me. Nobody can spoil my soul,my heart. My bruises inhaling.
My heart is still an infant, with no scratches on sides and in depth.
I’m telling you this love story between me and GOD. He is still looking at me and smiling at my whole being. He falls for me. I’m blessed. I’m blessed with this Holy Spirit.
Here nobody is holding a hand. Here, there is no clear path, but over there, they say the blessing and warm welcome. I am going there with contentment and pleasure.
It’s time for leave. I’m s o blissful .I feel such constant.
GOD will be giving me his hand, and his company.
I’m so delighted.
I’m so free.
I’m getting out of the slavery of my guilty body.
Guilt is getting mute and unseen.
Guilt is getting abandoned and untouched.
Guilt is getting to its finish.
I’m so thrilled, I’m so pleased.
Every second of my last moments, I’m getting more and more ready to head off.
After having a sip of that red wine, in God’s house, I’m so joyful. Prepared for walking off.
My soul, my individual, is counting the split seconds, I’m cherishing the last moments. I’m so boundless.
Waiting for his call.
He told me, that my instance is approaching before long.
My heart is haling, broken parts are getting their strength back, from wound.
My soul is smiling at the fate.
I’m so excited.
My soul companion will call me presently.
I’m packing my soul, my heart, my spirit; I’m taking them with me, there.
Over there, is always dazzling, the lights are all over. Sunlight out there.
Flames all over, coloured: true crimson .tulips cheery.
It’s magnificent, I’m so in love. I laid a hand on innocence.
Paradise is colored golden.
Soul is shouting out: listen to me .he’s sobbing.
God told me: I purred a little sip of the tasty wine in your heart, so you my dear get your heart touch your love and pass the tasty wine to him, to every one in the universe, so they can get the tenderness and the sweet taste of it.
Tell that sea bird to go to the entire earth and pass my sincere love to the humankind.
I’m awarding you with this that love still exists; in your hearts and in your souls. Cherish you; mingle around the fire, fire of senses, fire of touches, and fire of GOD.
GOD still exists; looking at me, watching me carefully, so nobody can harm me. Nobody can spoil my soul,my heart. My bruises inhaling.
My heart is still an infant, with no scratches on sides and in depth.
I’m telling you this love story between me and GOD. He is still looking at me and smiling at my whole being. He falls for me. I’m blessed. I’m blessed with this Holy Spirit.
Here nobody is holding a hand. Here, there is no clear path, but over there, they say the blessing and warm welcome. I am going there with contentment and pleasure.
It’s time for leave. I’m s o blissful .I feel such constant.
GOD will be giving me his hand, and his company.
I’m so delighted.
I’m so free.
I’m getting out of the slavery of my guilty body.
Guilt is getting mute and unseen.
Guilt is getting abandoned and untouched.
Guilt is getting to its finish.
I’m so thrilled, I’m so pleased.
Every second of my last moments, I’m getting more and more ready to head off.
After having a sip of that red wine, in God’s house, I’m so joyful. Prepared for walking off.
My soul, my individual, is counting the split seconds, I’m cherishing the last moments. I’m so boundless.
Waiting for his call.
He told me, that my instance is approaching before long.
My heart is haling, broken parts are getting their strength back, from wound.
My soul is smiling at the fate.
I’m so excited.
My soul companion will call me presently.
I’m packing my soul, my heart, my spirit; I’m taking them with me, there.
Over there, is always dazzling, the lights are all over. Sunlight out there.
Flames all over, coloured: true crimson .tulips cheery.
It’s magnificent, I’m so in love. I laid a hand on innocence.
Paradise is colored golden.
i'v set the ending
It’s time to fly up
I’ve set it. It’s the instance to fly awake.
It’s my moment
I’m ready to leave. I’m ready to take wing.
Life wasn’t a sweet dreams .I’m desperately expecting my fatality.
I have had enough. Life has reached to the closing stage.
Dreams are such bitter; I have no desire for them anymore. Sincere end, I’d like to celebrate your victory, come to me.
why you’re hiding from me. Come to me.
I’m looking for you all over. Help me uncover youre soul.
I’m feeling so close to you. I know I know. Help me to stumble on you. I feel you’re panting. I’m blind rigt now; and still incapable of seeing you. Give me your hand. Let me kiss your lips.
Dance with me, hold me tightly. Hold me tight, lets make one.
Come to me.
It’s not something strange or unattainable; asking you to be your partner and share my whole being with you.
My life is fulfilled with sorrow and regret. I don’t want it any more. I can’t. I can’t. I need to loosen up and calm down.
I need your friendship. Your honesty and love.
Don’t leave me alone, here in this disgraceful land.
Hold me, keep me safe. I’m so scared. I don’t want to lose you this time. But promise me, don’t embrace me with recreation or something like this, don’t ever give me one more life. I’m through. I’m drained. Hand me the serene, that sweet and joyful serene of birth. Forever Leisure. Don’t worry I don’t believe in the hell or heaven.
I’m absolutely free minded of this nonsense.
Once my grandmother whispered to me there will be no angle or evil, if you don’t believe in them. But when you start believing in their existence, you’ll see them. at that day I tried to not believe in them, because I was so scared : what if I see them and I’ll freak out. And now it’s time to regret believing in god and heaven and the hell, so I won’t see them. I did a mistake you know. It was an unforgivable fault .once I believed in evil and I saw him in here. It was terrifying and I got misfortunate. I should have not trust him. I regret that day all my life; so bad. I can’t get my life back, but its everlasting lesson for me.
Now I don’t want to see god. No matter of what happens to me I don’t want to see god. God gave me tough times. I’m so disappointed.
What I have done to him.
I just believed in his sincerity and love, so I fell in love, since then disaster came along. That vulnerable faith.
I trusted him and his love and his angles. look what happened to me.
I am so tired of taking tranquilizers, so they can make me happy or in the other word make me as a normal being. I don’t want to take them any more. I don’t want to be in that nasty illusion of happiness and wrong images of my existence. It’s enough. I like to see my real being; face to face. Natural face of my living, with no image or delusion.
This is me, this is existence, and this is dark. This is solitude. This is the last part.
Now I must beg you. To come and take me with you. I must beg you to embrace me tightly; even you don’t want to fall for me. This is my soul fairy-tale.
Why don’t you move toward me? I’m not appealing? It’s not the moment yet. How many years should pass by to reach to that split second? Tell me. draw closer, look at me; to face, and tell me about my instance. I swear, I do believe in you, so I could see you. I assumed you since the day one of my being, now it’s your moment to establish your belief in me, as a companion, come up to me, I promise, the time you look at my eyes, you’ll recognize my love for you. It’s the time.
I’ve set it. It’s the instance to fly awake.
It’s my moment
I’m ready to leave. I’m ready to take wing.
Life wasn’t a sweet dreams .I’m desperately expecting my fatality.
I have had enough. Life has reached to the closing stage.
Dreams are such bitter; I have no desire for them anymore. Sincere end, I’d like to celebrate your victory, come to me.
why you’re hiding from me. Come to me.
I’m looking for you all over. Help me uncover youre soul.
I’m feeling so close to you. I know I know. Help me to stumble on you. I feel you’re panting. I’m blind rigt now; and still incapable of seeing you. Give me your hand. Let me kiss your lips.
Dance with me, hold me tightly. Hold me tight, lets make one.
Come to me.
It’s not something strange or unattainable; asking you to be your partner and share my whole being with you.
My life is fulfilled with sorrow and regret. I don’t want it any more. I can’t. I can’t. I need to loosen up and calm down.
I need your friendship. Your honesty and love.
Don’t leave me alone, here in this disgraceful land.
Hold me, keep me safe. I’m so scared. I don’t want to lose you this time. But promise me, don’t embrace me with recreation or something like this, don’t ever give me one more life. I’m through. I’m drained. Hand me the serene, that sweet and joyful serene of birth. Forever Leisure. Don’t worry I don’t believe in the hell or heaven.
I’m absolutely free minded of this nonsense.
Once my grandmother whispered to me there will be no angle or evil, if you don’t believe in them. But when you start believing in their existence, you’ll see them. at that day I tried to not believe in them, because I was so scared : what if I see them and I’ll freak out. And now it’s time to regret believing in god and heaven and the hell, so I won’t see them. I did a mistake you know. It was an unforgivable fault .once I believed in evil and I saw him in here. It was terrifying and I got misfortunate. I should have not trust him. I regret that day all my life; so bad. I can’t get my life back, but its everlasting lesson for me.
Now I don’t want to see god. No matter of what happens to me I don’t want to see god. God gave me tough times. I’m so disappointed.
What I have done to him.
I just believed in his sincerity and love, so I fell in love, since then disaster came along. That vulnerable faith.
I trusted him and his love and his angles. look what happened to me.
I am so tired of taking tranquilizers, so they can make me happy or in the other word make me as a normal being. I don’t want to take them any more. I don’t want to be in that nasty illusion of happiness and wrong images of my existence. It’s enough. I like to see my real being; face to face. Natural face of my living, with no image or delusion.
This is me, this is existence, and this is dark. This is solitude. This is the last part.
Now I must beg you. To come and take me with you. I must beg you to embrace me tightly; even you don’t want to fall for me. This is my soul fairy-tale.
Why don’t you move toward me? I’m not appealing? It’s not the moment yet. How many years should pass by to reach to that split second? Tell me. draw closer, look at me; to face, and tell me about my instance. I swear, I do believe in you, so I could see you. I assumed you since the day one of my being, now it’s your moment to establish your belief in me, as a companion, come up to me, I promise, the time you look at my eyes, you’ll recognize my love for you. It’s the time.
Tuesday, January 10, 2006
Sunday, January 01, 2006
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