suffering from an unknown constant pain.
Remember the begining of today.walking so happy, so high;
this morning the Sky gifted me all its clouds, and i was stepping in to them. I felt so light. The sun was bright. my mind was naked; showing off its matchless nature to the life. Everything was great.
My soul; dancing all over the sunshine. Oh my god I felt so content.
I remember getting in to the gate. Pondering, smiling to the morning, to the "life".
I remember closing my eyes, while waiting for the train to come to the gate.
A voice said hi to me,it was coming from the corner beside me. I didn’t respond,i didn't open my eyes. I just smiled; being certain that i am fantasizing that voice in my massive illusion.
I remember the voice whispering sadly: today is going to be my only real day. I just smiled,I felt him blindly, wondering how does this sad voice belong to my beautiful imaginary day? It doesn’t match with the whole joyful feelings which are occupied inside me.Isn't today a wonderful day! How strange.
I remember feeling the train arriving.
I remember opening my eyes; looking further,yes the train was coming towards the gate, and i remember noticing someone standing beside me. I remember looking at his thoughtful eyes; it matches the sad voice in my dream. I Wondered if he was in my dream or for real.i thought: certainly, i am visualizing this image in my mind. i smiled at my imaginary man in my dream.he smiled back.
I remember the train getting closer to its place.
And I remember turning to look at the man in my dream. He jumped towards the railway and sat still, he looked up and looked at me and said bye. I remember he opened his hands,it was like he wanted to embrace the train.
I remember him getting united with the train.
I remember people shouting: somebody killed himself.i heard the screams all over the gate. I remember looking at the horrified eyes.and i was weeping softly.
I remember me walking back up the stairs and leaving the train station, my heart was crying out loudly, feeling so guilty for not responding to his warning about his real day. i should have opened my eyes, i should have looked through him and i should have told him:( listen, today is not your real day, it is not anybody's real day, it is one of my illustrative invented days, it is all my illusion,and you are part of it).
And I remember wishing for coming back to the reality to the earth.
I remember the day getting to its end and I was still in pain.
At last i remember recognizing my massive pain, it was belonged to the earth; to the reality, to the” dirt”;the place where any potential suicide turns in to to an action in there.
that day was nothing but a real day.
saloume
4 comments:
Well written ! your blog is like a breeze ,like an oasis ,like having an ice tea in the morning after a nasty hangover . I will read all your stuff . take care
Were you really "whipping" or were you "weeping"? Did the sky give you all "it's" clouds or "its" clouds? What do you mean by "today is one of my illustrative invented day(s)"?
I'm sorry to have been critical, but I thought your poetic dreams would sound infinitely better if they were polished up a bit.
Do not get dismayed by this comment. The fact that anyone should leave a comment should mean a lot to you. There are blogs no one even cares to read. It's hard to be poetic and make sense, especially in a language that is not one's own. You have the guts to give it a try, besides, you're a very attractive lady. Take care.
That was really nice, I just found you by chance, you are living in a cold region and me just the opposite, I am in very hot and humid area, but you know we have the same feeling, the words was familiar to me. You have a great soul.
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