Drunken, you’re dancing with craze.
God’s standing; watching you; weeping out.
Grief is all over.
Dark spot’s over there; in that corner, it’s coming beyond existence.
Shouting out:
Hush, hush. Disaster’s come along.
It’s showering, all over. Sky blowing out,
Hush, hush: time is coming to its end.
Animals; frighten, insects; on fire.
We’re getting to the end of lethal.
It’s the ending of moment.
It’s the ending of century.
It’s the ending of existence.
Hush, hush, failures approaching.
Disaster’s coming along.
Drunken; you’re hastily looking around.
Drunken, have your last glass of wine solicitous, smell its wisdom. Sip it, touch it to your lips, and drop your tears, into it. Bless it with your moan.
Wish if your coming death, rushes; or else, it would be a massive, bare soreness.
Hush, hush. You took this for granted.
Hush, hush you took “being” for granted.
Hush, hush. Fatality is coming to you;” birth shaped, dyed with sorrow and regret”.
Hush, hush. be Solemn. I’ve warned you, you lunatics.
Hush, hush, loss is coming; hunting your hearts.
Hush, hush, be Mournful. You’re such unfortunates.
Drunken, let’s dance, dance in a round, and twist your body to the last end.
Hush, hush. Mingle in intimate circle.
Hush, hush I’d warned you, you drunken, deaf existing.
I’d shown you the signs, you blind; historic; loss in doubt.
At the moment you’re so mute.
It’s the end of the natters, nothing else does matter.
Death chatters.
Hush, hush.
Saloume Nakhsaz
Thursday, December 15, 2005
Disturbing mouth!
Mouth, unlocked:
Brain; enable to perform precisely.
Ears; vulnerable of hearing with solicitude.
Eyes; defenseless of looking cautiously.
Mouth shut.
Brain; talented to have mysterious thought.
Ears; enlightened to listen to the best sound.
Eyes, well-informed to observe innocence.
Saloume Nakhsaz
Brain; enable to perform precisely.
Ears; vulnerable of hearing with solicitude.
Eyes; defenseless of looking cautiously.
Mouth shut.
Brain; talented to have mysterious thought.
Ears; enlightened to listen to the best sound.
Eyes, well-informed to observe innocence.
Saloume Nakhsaz
love story
You’re still burning inside…….. Go home. I’ll come back soon.
I’ll be waiting right here for you, don’t you worry, I wont freeze, you know; I’m burning in my heart.
You’re here already. Why are you trembling? What is this?
It’s for you. The” forbidden apple” is stolen.
Saloume Nakhsaz
I’ll be waiting right here for you, don’t you worry, I wont freeze, you know; I’m burning in my heart.
You’re here already. Why are you trembling? What is this?
It’s for you. The” forbidden apple” is stolen.
Saloume Nakhsaz
Wednesday, December 14, 2005
What if someone steals my words?
Shrugging shoulders, shivering intensely, so terrified by the constant dreadful nightmare:
What if someone steals my words?
What if someone steals my thoughts?
What if someone steals my feelings; my manner?
What if someone steals my individual?
What if someone steals my own soul?
No, i can't put up with this tragedy.
If it comes about,this time, i'll give up my ghost.
They stole my youth dreams, i could still breathe.
They stole my conclusion; whom i gave birth to. i could still breath.
They stole my origin native land, i could still breathe.
But, if they steal my words; my faith, my dreams, i shall depart" life".
Sure i'll breathe my last, kiss goodbye to the vanished humanity.
I'll die.
Saloume Nakhsaz
What if someone steals my words?
What if someone steals my thoughts?
What if someone steals my feelings; my manner?
What if someone steals my individual?
What if someone steals my own soul?
No, i can't put up with this tragedy.
If it comes about,this time, i'll give up my ghost.
They stole my youth dreams, i could still breathe.
They stole my conclusion; whom i gave birth to. i could still breath.
They stole my origin native land, i could still breathe.
But, if they steal my words; my faith, my dreams, i shall depart" life".
Sure i'll breathe my last, kiss goodbye to the vanished humanity.
I'll die.
Saloume Nakhsaz
I believe him!
He'd never deceit me, never, officer. believe me.
You're absoloutely right madam. But what if he was dishonest with you, just this one time ?
Why officer? He'd never lies to me officer. Never.
Madam, you have to help us with this awkward scenario. I know it's tough, but please just be more rational and solemn at this time.
You saw you husband; killed the dog, and he convinced you, what you saw was a false impression ; a bad dream!?
Yes officer, he told me so, and he never lies to me. Never.
what if i tell you, miss....'s dog is missing, and you; as you said before; you were with him, when he drove to miss... 's house. you saw him, when he knoced the door, no body answered. then you saw him going to the bac door; opening it. The dog started barking, so he opened his leash; telling you, he is not opening his leash. He took the barking dog, pushed him to the back seat of his car, drove back to your house; telling you he's not kidnapping the dog.
He threw the dog in to your garage; betead him up; telling you he's not hurt the dog.
He took his gun, shouted the dog; telling you he's not shouted the gun.
He took the dog's unmoving body to the garden; telling you he is not going to the garden.
He started digging the ground beside the cherry tree; pulled the dog, threw it in to the hole, burried the dead dog; telling you he's not burrying the dog.
He went to his gu, cleaned it suspiciously; telling you he hasn't touched the gun.
Am i right madam?
-Yes, officer, i saw them all, i guess so!
-So, if you support what i said, so whydon't you agree with our judgement? he killed the dog, so he is guilty.
-No, officer, he didn't kill the dog and he is not guilty.
It'll all illusion; my bad dream; very bad dream, he told me so, and he is right.
officer,It's not the my first time; i'm in absolute image. it happens a lot. or i shall say, it happens all the time.
-Madam, may i ask you something? when did you start having these extensive illusions?
- Yes, officer. since i married this naive, pure-heart, truthful man.
when we got married, he promissed me he'll be always sincere and honest with me, he also promised, he'll help me out, upcoming my mistaken, brutal vision, about him.
Because, at the first sight, i had this improper vision, that i caught him, while he was stealing from my house; that's how we first met, officer.
SaloumeNakhsaz
You're absoloutely right madam. But what if he was dishonest with you, just this one time ?
Why officer? He'd never lies to me officer. Never.
Madam, you have to help us with this awkward scenario. I know it's tough, but please just be more rational and solemn at this time.
You saw you husband; killed the dog, and he convinced you, what you saw was a false impression ; a bad dream!?
Yes officer, he told me so, and he never lies to me. Never.
what if i tell you, miss....'s dog is missing, and you; as you said before; you were with him, when he drove to miss... 's house. you saw him, when he knoced the door, no body answered. then you saw him going to the bac door; opening it. The dog started barking, so he opened his leash; telling you, he is not opening his leash. He took the barking dog, pushed him to the back seat of his car, drove back to your house; telling you he's not kidnapping the dog.
He threw the dog in to your garage; betead him up; telling you he's not hurt the dog.
He took his gun, shouted the dog; telling you he's not shouted the gun.
He took the dog's unmoving body to the garden; telling you he is not going to the garden.
He started digging the ground beside the cherry tree; pulled the dog, threw it in to the hole, burried the dead dog; telling you he's not burrying the dog.
He went to his gu, cleaned it suspiciously; telling you he hasn't touched the gun.
Am i right madam?
-Yes, officer, i saw them all, i guess so!
-So, if you support what i said, so whydon't you agree with our judgement? he killed the dog, so he is guilty.
-No, officer, he didn't kill the dog and he is not guilty.
It'll all illusion; my bad dream; very bad dream, he told me so, and he is right.
officer,It's not the my first time; i'm in absolute image. it happens a lot. or i shall say, it happens all the time.
-Madam, may i ask you something? when did you start having these extensive illusions?
- Yes, officer. since i married this naive, pure-heart, truthful man.
when we got married, he promissed me he'll be always sincere and honest with me, he also promised, he'll help me out, upcoming my mistaken, brutal vision, about him.
Because, at the first sight, i had this improper vision, that i caught him, while he was stealing from my house; that's how we first met, officer.
SaloumeNakhsaz
Tuesday, December 13, 2005
confession
Dearest, this is a confession letter.
Now is 6 in the morning, and i'm still unable to sleep. Days are passing by, and i'm getting more and more terrified about our fate.
I've lost weight . And i'm looking so pale, looks like, there is not much blood left in my vein.
I know, i'm still young enough to catch some more years, but who really does exists, who knows, when the"time" is?
I know i've hurt you, and i know how authentic and enduring, you still are with me.
Dearest, since, made you promise that i'll be on my feet for you; walking by your shoulders; side by side, i've massively affected. I can't say, wether it's fine, or not. But darling, i'm so terrified.
You'll never undersand, the meaning of"your living being" to me.
You'll never sense it.
Since you came to my life story, since the begining phase; you've converted in to my own faith, my blood; my core.
It's impossible to describe it, even to my own self, that being away from you, and suffering from reserve, was much saner than taking the same steps with you; side by side.
I'm so frightened of loosing my spirit, and my aim to stand up and fly out.
If i lose you, i'll lose my words; my thoughts and my whole individual.
I know, you'll never leave me, but there is something inside me, which makes me unapproachable, and covered up.
My heart wants you deeply, but my soul; my being istrying to escape.
I'm suffering from having doubled-life, and being in various sides.
I'm unable to be in the same track, and you know it.
The reason is, my fear of getting attached in to the earth.
I'm obliged to fly away, with an empty bag; light wings to fly high. I can't carry so much with me, while i'm flying away.
I need to reach to the final end.
I'm unable to lead or stop my own being.
Before, itried so much to live like others, but the only thing i inherited, was having lovable parents; being loved by them, and loving them back. going to school, feeling cold, dump, and pain.
These are immense.
But, since i've given to this land, i was carrying pain with me, pain of suffering from being away from my own land.
It was long time ago, i realized, here is not mine, here; i'm a strainger, i don't belong here, and no one belongs to me in this land.
I'm detached, even if i don't want to be so, my fate will detach me, with some one incredible.
This is my true fate.
The truth of my individual, is skilling love and pain. I have a feeling of" getting trained and examined" all these years.
You know, i believe, there is someone, watching me, up there; in the high sky. who will take me back to my specific railway, whenever i get side-tracked of my own fate.
And if i am taking someone special with me, he'll take" the one" back, and leaves me there, all by my own self; carrying no furthur weight.
Saloume Nakhsaz
Now is 6 in the morning, and i'm still unable to sleep. Days are passing by, and i'm getting more and more terrified about our fate.
I've lost weight . And i'm looking so pale, looks like, there is not much blood left in my vein.
I know, i'm still young enough to catch some more years, but who really does exists, who knows, when the"time" is?
I know i've hurt you, and i know how authentic and enduring, you still are with me.
Dearest, since, made you promise that i'll be on my feet for you; walking by your shoulders; side by side, i've massively affected. I can't say, wether it's fine, or not. But darling, i'm so terrified.
You'll never undersand, the meaning of"your living being" to me.
You'll never sense it.
Since you came to my life story, since the begining phase; you've converted in to my own faith, my blood; my core.
It's impossible to describe it, even to my own self, that being away from you, and suffering from reserve, was much saner than taking the same steps with you; side by side.
I'm so frightened of loosing my spirit, and my aim to stand up and fly out.
If i lose you, i'll lose my words; my thoughts and my whole individual.
I know, you'll never leave me, but there is something inside me, which makes me unapproachable, and covered up.
My heart wants you deeply, but my soul; my being istrying to escape.
I'm suffering from having doubled-life, and being in various sides.
I'm unable to be in the same track, and you know it.
The reason is, my fear of getting attached in to the earth.
I'm obliged to fly away, with an empty bag; light wings to fly high. I can't carry so much with me, while i'm flying away.
I need to reach to the final end.
I'm unable to lead or stop my own being.
Before, itried so much to live like others, but the only thing i inherited, was having lovable parents; being loved by them, and loving them back. going to school, feeling cold, dump, and pain.
These are immense.
But, since i've given to this land, i was carrying pain with me, pain of suffering from being away from my own land.
It was long time ago, i realized, here is not mine, here; i'm a strainger, i don't belong here, and no one belongs to me in this land.
I'm detached, even if i don't want to be so, my fate will detach me, with some one incredible.
This is my true fate.
The truth of my individual, is skilling love and pain. I have a feeling of" getting trained and examined" all these years.
You know, i believe, there is someone, watching me, up there; in the high sky. who will take me back to my specific railway, whenever i get side-tracked of my own fate.
And if i am taking someone special with me, he'll take" the one" back, and leaves me there, all by my own self; carrying no furthur weight.
Saloume Nakhsaz
Saturday, December 10, 2005
I love someone, guess who she is.
why it happened? why ?
What did i do? something so cruel, and astray,
... unquestionably, i gave him a misapprehending sign?
Doubtlessly, i wasn't a pure and innocent in this loss.
i destroyed everything, i demolished his life; his dream.
why it happened. why i didn't i realized, after these many years ,it could have been doable, if he had loved me, more than a love which exists between two true friends
, a love with passion.
i never had a clue. when did he fall in love with me.
we were great childhood friends, he was my best friend's husband, my husband's best man at the wedding.
i remember him; looking at my eyes "deeply and concise", he whispered: i wish you" the entire happiness possible in this" shallow, inutile earth"". i love to see your children; with pretty faces, like yours soon.
and he left. disappeared in the crowd.
i remember the time, he told me about his love to someone very especial and genuine; that he was scared of losing her forever ; if she had found out about his deep and passionate love for her; what if she got mad at him , supposing he has taken advantage of their friendship; what if she left him forever.
He told me how saddened and despair he would have felt, without her; being in his life.
i felt so sorry for him. thinkg about his love to that especial girl; whom i didn't know;who she was yet. he didn't say her name, and told me it's not the right time yet.
i told him , he too is so especial; so attractive and charming for any girl around. i told him , i knew, most of the girls; around loved to be with him.
he smiled; with depair, and said: i am afraid....; maybe, i am so many girl's dream man, but not for the one, i am in love with.
i remember, running to him, with passion and urge.
Told him: i have a present for you for your birthday, you're not gonna be in your solitude any more, i've found out, whom youre in love with; someone who matches you, whom deserves your love,
and i assure you, she will never let you down; "never."
i remember him; getting so exited, but he looked so frustrated and worried; gazing at me with doubt.
he asked me: really? you know who is the one? you're sure?
....tell me; who is the girl?
..........i intrupted him and said, with agitation: wait, before talking about you and your especial one, i should also admit something to you.
before, i was so embaressed of revealing everything to you, but since you've told me about your personal romantic feelings, to the one. i realized it's so great and pleasurable to me; sharing my feelings about my love with you. you should be the first one to know.
i love someone truely; deeply. he doesn't know that yet.
i'm also so scared of losing him forever, if he realizes that i have loved him.
what if he doesn't love me that way. i've known this guy for ages and i have always loved him.
he ponded. he blushed, but he kept silent. he looked at my eyes and told me: tell me right away; who he is. tell me. i must know. i must know it, before everything else. he shouted.
i looked at him and smiled; with doubt, i was worried, i have never seen him "glowed and out of self-conscience".
i opened my heart, and my mouth. i closed my eyes, i said he is our best friend.
i shouted his name, opened my eyes.
he was out of sense. he was pale enough to faint, his tears , coming down to his lips. he was crying?
i said: you're crying ? is he in love with someone else. tell me?
you're crying because youre happy for me? tell me?
is he also in love with me? how wonderful it would be. tell me the truth. i know he is very close and sincere with you.
he nodded.
he said with smile: ......yes, he is also in love with you.
i'm delighted ; i'm crying, because i'm very happy for you. done.
i looked at him,i said: thank you. now, i'm so releaved. i am counting on your honesty, if you're sure he loves me; so, i'm gonna reveal everything to him; about my love,
you wont leave me alone anytime.you're always going to be by my side, i need this pure friendship; i need it forever, in my life. will you?
he said: never, just if i decide to leave this shallow,and utile earth forever.
i smiled.
Now lets talk about your love and your especial one. its your turn.
he looked at me; ponded; said : sure, go ahead. tell me who you think she is. lets see if you've guessed right, or not?
i uncovered my guess; the girl, whom he's known for years, and i also disclosed, she is in love with him, and she has convinced, he also is in love with her.
he replied with surprise: she said so?
his tears kept making his entire blunted face blind, at that moment i wasn't sure about his blissfulness any more, for non of us.
i stood up , kissed him goodbye, and left.
A year passed by, he married the girl. after one month, i did get married.
Now, i'm sitting here and crying out, weeping; blaming my self about everything;
about him; leaving this shallow,inutile life,
and kissing me good bye forever.
his death was the biggest loss for me.
getting his letter by mail, a day after his death and reading his confession about his real, forever, forbidden" love"; the reason of his decision of commiting suiside.
as he said to me before: he couldn't stand" life"; if it's not with her. no, not anymore.
SaloumeNakhsaz
What did i do? something so cruel, and astray,
... unquestionably, i gave him a misapprehending sign?
Doubtlessly, i wasn't a pure and innocent in this loss.
i destroyed everything, i demolished his life; his dream.
why it happened. why i didn't i realized, after these many years ,it could have been doable, if he had loved me, more than a love which exists between two true friends
, a love with passion.
i never had a clue. when did he fall in love with me.
we were great childhood friends, he was my best friend's husband, my husband's best man at the wedding.
i remember him; looking at my eyes "deeply and concise", he whispered: i wish you" the entire happiness possible in this" shallow, inutile earth"". i love to see your children; with pretty faces, like yours soon.
and he left. disappeared in the crowd.
i remember the time, he told me about his love to someone very especial and genuine; that he was scared of losing her forever ; if she had found out about his deep and passionate love for her; what if she got mad at him , supposing he has taken advantage of their friendship; what if she left him forever.
He told me how saddened and despair he would have felt, without her; being in his life.
i felt so sorry for him. thinkg about his love to that especial girl; whom i didn't know;who she was yet. he didn't say her name, and told me it's not the right time yet.
i told him , he too is so especial; so attractive and charming for any girl around. i told him , i knew, most of the girls; around loved to be with him.
he smiled; with depair, and said: i am afraid....; maybe, i am so many girl's dream man, but not for the one, i am in love with.
i remember, running to him, with passion and urge.
Told him: i have a present for you for your birthday, you're not gonna be in your solitude any more, i've found out, whom youre in love with; someone who matches you, whom deserves your love,
and i assure you, she will never let you down; "never."
i remember him; getting so exited, but he looked so frustrated and worried; gazing at me with doubt.
he asked me: really? you know who is the one? you're sure?
....tell me; who is the girl?
..........i intrupted him and said, with agitation: wait, before talking about you and your especial one, i should also admit something to you.
before, i was so embaressed of revealing everything to you, but since you've told me about your personal romantic feelings, to the one. i realized it's so great and pleasurable to me; sharing my feelings about my love with you. you should be the first one to know.
i love someone truely; deeply. he doesn't know that yet.
i'm also so scared of losing him forever, if he realizes that i have loved him.
what if he doesn't love me that way. i've known this guy for ages and i have always loved him.
he ponded. he blushed, but he kept silent. he looked at my eyes and told me: tell me right away; who he is. tell me. i must know. i must know it, before everything else. he shouted.
i looked at him and smiled; with doubt, i was worried, i have never seen him "glowed and out of self-conscience".
i opened my heart, and my mouth. i closed my eyes, i said he is our best friend.
i shouted his name, opened my eyes.
he was out of sense. he was pale enough to faint, his tears , coming down to his lips. he was crying?
i said: you're crying ? is he in love with someone else. tell me?
you're crying because youre happy for me? tell me?
is he also in love with me? how wonderful it would be. tell me the truth. i know he is very close and sincere with you.
he nodded.
he said with smile: ......yes, he is also in love with you.
i'm delighted ; i'm crying, because i'm very happy for you. done.
i looked at him,i said: thank you. now, i'm so releaved. i am counting on your honesty, if you're sure he loves me; so, i'm gonna reveal everything to him; about my love,
you wont leave me alone anytime.you're always going to be by my side, i need this pure friendship; i need it forever, in my life. will you?
he said: never, just if i decide to leave this shallow,and utile earth forever.
i smiled.
Now lets talk about your love and your especial one. its your turn.
he looked at me; ponded; said : sure, go ahead. tell me who you think she is. lets see if you've guessed right, or not?
i uncovered my guess; the girl, whom he's known for years, and i also disclosed, she is in love with him, and she has convinced, he also is in love with her.
he replied with surprise: she said so?
his tears kept making his entire blunted face blind, at that moment i wasn't sure about his blissfulness any more, for non of us.
i stood up , kissed him goodbye, and left.
A year passed by, he married the girl. after one month, i did get married.
Now, i'm sitting here and crying out, weeping; blaming my self about everything;
about him; leaving this shallow,inutile life,
and kissing me good bye forever.
his death was the biggest loss for me.
getting his letter by mail, a day after his death and reading his confession about his real, forever, forbidden" love"; the reason of his decision of commiting suiside.
as he said to me before: he couldn't stand" life"; if it's not with her. no, not anymore.
SaloumeNakhsaz
Friday, December 09, 2005
The "better land" !
- Your eyes tell me the story of scratches and shadows.
- They are watching me all over the places, what I should do, I’m so terrified!
- don’t worry, it’s just a bad dream, relax; nobody is going to harm you here, here is safe. Remember; you are in the safe land. Now, you have freedom and knowledge to use. You are in safe hands here.
Here; is the land of liberated words and thoughts; remember, what you’ve been told.
She left you here; they let you in; to stay “forever”, so you can be confined and out of harm's way.
Remember;” Better life.”
: Yes, I remember. I remember everything; I remember her;” weeping, when she left me here.” I remember her; whispering to me:
“- darling, now you are going to be safe.
Don’t worry, everything is going to be alright, I am not here with you, but you’ll be safe, and you will be having a better life, I have to go back.
But you should know that, I care about you so much; you’re my darling; my love; that’s why; I am going to leave you here.
Remember, this is the better land; the world you deserve; even if you don’t have me around.
You are grown up now; you should live in the premier class society, even if you suffer of separate.
Remember I will be always being thinking about you.
Try your best to be the most excellent.
Because of my love, I am to blame to give you better chance in your life.
- Mother, I need you, I am not even thirteen yet, and I need you. I need you, while I’m growing up, what is going to happen to me, without being with you here, what if I fall in love, what’s going to happen to me?
- Remember; don’t ever, ever fall in love with anything or anyone, you deserve a better life, in an enhanced life; you don’t need to be in love; love will be a tragedy for you; it’ll stop you from stepping up hills.
-
Remember; Love, is forbidden in the better land.
- Mother, what if I regret it; what if I get homesick?
- Remember; in the better land, there are not such things; like hometown, or getting reflective; getting homesick, is for me; for the people; with no security; that is why; they are regretful. These labels don’t go with you; don’t ever think like that.
-
- Never!
-
Darling remember; you should be always happy; anywhere” you can have a better life”.
Detach yourself, of everything worthless.
Be happy; everywhere you are, and try your best to be the matchless.
- Mother; what do you want me to be? What is the most excellent? Am I not the best now? I am the finest at school, I am a good daughter! I am cleaning my room; I am painting fine, dancing well, and studying very hard, what then? what do you want ? Why aren’t you pleased yet?
- No I am not satisfied; you deserve “that better life”; the life;” I never could have had, and always, have wished for it.”
- Mom; what if, I don’t want to have a better life?
- You are just a child; you don’t know any better now, I promise you, that; one day you’ll understand.
Now, years have passed by, and I still don’t understand; the things she told me; in that night!
I remember everything, and I still don’t identify my life; as any better at this instant.
The only thing I know is; since that day, I never sleep well; never feel harmless or protected.
I always cry in my solitude, for being the “secreted dejected.”
I’m always alarmed, so nobody can harm me simply.
I have bruises all over my body; with the tears alongside.
I am in isolation, and always horrified.
To me; Life is so bitter, and disturbing.
Besides; I am carrying a gifted birthright; which my mom awarded me; always being prepared and alert; not to fall in love; with anyone or anything.
I am the “companionless, homeless”; in my mind, and in my spirit.
Every moment in my life I question; what I did to her, in order to be taken in to this” better life; this better land! With this better, enhanced intelligence!”
I can forgive her; for anything wrong; she did to me, anything; she skilled me, but I will always regret; her,” being my guardian angel;” “my mother”, just because she whispered softly;” Don’t ever fall in love my love.”
Saloume Nakhsaz
- They are watching me all over the places, what I should do, I’m so terrified!
- don’t worry, it’s just a bad dream, relax; nobody is going to harm you here, here is safe. Remember; you are in the safe land. Now, you have freedom and knowledge to use. You are in safe hands here.
Here; is the land of liberated words and thoughts; remember, what you’ve been told.
She left you here; they let you in; to stay “forever”, so you can be confined and out of harm's way.
Remember;” Better life.”
: Yes, I remember. I remember everything; I remember her;” weeping, when she left me here.” I remember her; whispering to me:
“- darling, now you are going to be safe.
Don’t worry, everything is going to be alright, I am not here with you, but you’ll be safe, and you will be having a better life, I have to go back.
But you should know that, I care about you so much; you’re my darling; my love; that’s why; I am going to leave you here.
Remember, this is the better land; the world you deserve; even if you don’t have me around.
You are grown up now; you should live in the premier class society, even if you suffer of separate.
Remember I will be always being thinking about you.
Try your best to be the most excellent.
Because of my love, I am to blame to give you better chance in your life.
- Mother, I need you, I am not even thirteen yet, and I need you. I need you, while I’m growing up, what is going to happen to me, without being with you here, what if I fall in love, what’s going to happen to me?
- Remember; don’t ever, ever fall in love with anything or anyone, you deserve a better life, in an enhanced life; you don’t need to be in love; love will be a tragedy for you; it’ll stop you from stepping up hills.
-
Remember; Love, is forbidden in the better land.
- Mother, what if I regret it; what if I get homesick?
- Remember; in the better land, there are not such things; like hometown, or getting reflective; getting homesick, is for me; for the people; with no security; that is why; they are regretful. These labels don’t go with you; don’t ever think like that.
-
- Never!
-
Darling remember; you should be always happy; anywhere” you can have a better life”.
Detach yourself, of everything worthless.
Be happy; everywhere you are, and try your best to be the matchless.
- Mother; what do you want me to be? What is the most excellent? Am I not the best now? I am the finest at school, I am a good daughter! I am cleaning my room; I am painting fine, dancing well, and studying very hard, what then? what do you want ? Why aren’t you pleased yet?
- No I am not satisfied; you deserve “that better life”; the life;” I never could have had, and always, have wished for it.”
- Mom; what if, I don’t want to have a better life?
- You are just a child; you don’t know any better now, I promise you, that; one day you’ll understand.
Now, years have passed by, and I still don’t understand; the things she told me; in that night!
I remember everything, and I still don’t identify my life; as any better at this instant.
The only thing I know is; since that day, I never sleep well; never feel harmless or protected.
I always cry in my solitude, for being the “secreted dejected.”
I’m always alarmed, so nobody can harm me simply.
I have bruises all over my body; with the tears alongside.
I am in isolation, and always horrified.
To me; Life is so bitter, and disturbing.
Besides; I am carrying a gifted birthright; which my mom awarded me; always being prepared and alert; not to fall in love; with anyone or anything.
I am the “companionless, homeless”; in my mind, and in my spirit.
Every moment in my life I question; what I did to her, in order to be taken in to this” better life; this better land! With this better, enhanced intelligence!”
I can forgive her; for anything wrong; she did to me, anything; she skilled me, but I will always regret; her,” being my guardian angel;” “my mother”, just because she whispered softly;” Don’t ever fall in love my love.”
Saloume Nakhsaz
Wednesday, December 07, 2005
wonderland!!
The name is: Live What You Love,” notes from an unusual life
“. I look at it “unusual life”. How a life can be unusual, just because it’s not the same as other’s, who says all the people’s lives should be usual, anyway?
‘
Time passes by; I write a story about life and death; black and white, solitude and hate, rescuing lives from anxieties and horrors, morality, sacrifice.
Everything is colored” black”.
‘When I wake up; the sky is black, I go to bed when it’s black. Solid black, I don’t see sunshine; white colures or yellow. This is the meaning of today’s life, in solid black; Massive dejection, and self-salvation.
People live and dye in the black atmosphere.
I have no news from my sincere friends, just because I chose not to get anything new from the other side of the world; what is the use of it. Feeling sympathy? I don’t want to.
They share their happiness and misery with you and now you can’t even understand it by any sense, or self-touch.
No one has many friends, make it any!
Earthquake comes and goes.
Someone is the leader; who is absolutely no eligible for that position. He is in his invented victory, and he knows; it’s not fair what he does, and what he says, he knows he is too low to be the leader for even a group of sheep, and now he is the first man of this poor and helpless land!, but who doesn’t like supremacy? He is terrifically happy about it, but he also can’t handle it, he can’t hide his insanity from the people around, and he says things he shouldn’t say so.
People are left by their own frightens, from the cruelty of their lives; they suffer from lack of health, self-power, and defense.
Before, there were days, whenever a fellow wanted to do something, he would have thought about the righteous of it, and also, he would have considered its value. But now, he never thinks about human’s right or spirit. He dies of hunger, lack of health, and no ethics.
He wont try to make changes in his world of despair and solitary, because it’s so far beyond his believes and abilities to get in to any battle.
He doesn’t wish to have a better life anymore; he just expects, the days pass by faster.
He doesn’t get upset, if someone’s love dies. Who cares if she lives or she doesn’t. Who cares if I live or I don’t, even I’’ my own self” don’t care anymore, about my self-being.
Who cares, if there is no other life after death, who wants to live one more time any more?
No one does.
; It’s so much pressure, in even one time life, then, why should someone wants to live one more time, and have the same, maybe worse experience again, and again; suffers from breathing; with no inspiration.
No more. That’s it.
Who cares if there is, or there is not heaven or hell. Who cares, what is wrong or right. Who knows?
Who says someone goes to hell if he killed someone else’s soul.
Who says if someone killed herself, goes to hell?
Who dares to say so?
Who cares, if a fellow kills a soul, out of madness? Who gets sad?
Who cares if someone gets cancer?
Who gets happy, if someone gets married?
Who knows, how long his delusion is going to last?
Who wants to share his life with the others, anyway?
Who says if someone doesn’t love; is fateful? Who says if you are in love; you’re happy and fortunate.
Who says you shouldn’t lie, and then what is with, telling someone charming stuff, without even believing in it.
What is with talking about fate, and destiny, without even believing in God?
Who says you shouldn’t steal. If that is so; then, what is with stealing names, souls, and hearts, and …. .
Who cares if a child is born with no hands? Who cries for the poor; begging all over the city for a dime?
Who cares if homeless dies of cold, in the winter time?
Who cares if a prostitute gets caught, and sentenced by law, by religion?
Who cares if a mother can’t afford to feed her own child?
Who gives her a hand?
She decides to feed her infant, and so she sells her own body. It’s her own body; she can do whatever she desires, with it. Then who dares to stop her from being her own body’s trader?
How attainable and rational it is; to stop her from feeding her own little one.
Who says what fair is?
Who says someone has this right to rule one land?
Who says some people have the right to put the other ones in" jail"; kill them by the name of God?
Who says some groups are acceptable to invent the new regulations. And make changes, whenever they desire.
These are all nonsense.
Who says, there is someone up there; watching us, and taking care of individuals, and souls.
And who says; all these disasters are all written in human’s fate.
These are all nonsense.
Who says if someone does something dreadful; he can’t sleep well at nights, nor eats in peace; then, why all the kings have figures of happy faces, and they can laugh to death?
Who says, humans can be in possession of the land, call it their own kingdom; their own belongings; decide not, let various sort of people, in the land? Who says, they can toss some humans, away from several definite lines, and lock them up, in a few exceptional areas?
Who says, some kind of people, are permitted, to be the owner of the natural substances; such as oils; and who says, if they are capable of promoting it, to others?
Who cares, if someone kills a bird?
Here is gray; nothing matches anything, and this is the truth.
These days, the truth is so evident, and in plain sight, if someone takes a look at a piece of life; just for two minutes, he’ll figure out, nothing makes sense, in today’s life.
Saloume nakhsaz
“. I look at it “unusual life”. How a life can be unusual, just because it’s not the same as other’s, who says all the people’s lives should be usual, anyway?
‘
Time passes by; I write a story about life and death; black and white, solitude and hate, rescuing lives from anxieties and horrors, morality, sacrifice.
Everything is colored” black”.
‘When I wake up; the sky is black, I go to bed when it’s black. Solid black, I don’t see sunshine; white colures or yellow. This is the meaning of today’s life, in solid black; Massive dejection, and self-salvation.
People live and dye in the black atmosphere.
I have no news from my sincere friends, just because I chose not to get anything new from the other side of the world; what is the use of it. Feeling sympathy? I don’t want to.
They share their happiness and misery with you and now you can’t even understand it by any sense, or self-touch.
No one has many friends, make it any!
Earthquake comes and goes.
Someone is the leader; who is absolutely no eligible for that position. He is in his invented victory, and he knows; it’s not fair what he does, and what he says, he knows he is too low to be the leader for even a group of sheep, and now he is the first man of this poor and helpless land!, but who doesn’t like supremacy? He is terrifically happy about it, but he also can’t handle it, he can’t hide his insanity from the people around, and he says things he shouldn’t say so.
People are left by their own frightens, from the cruelty of their lives; they suffer from lack of health, self-power, and defense.
Before, there were days, whenever a fellow wanted to do something, he would have thought about the righteous of it, and also, he would have considered its value. But now, he never thinks about human’s right or spirit. He dies of hunger, lack of health, and no ethics.
He wont try to make changes in his world of despair and solitary, because it’s so far beyond his believes and abilities to get in to any battle.
He doesn’t wish to have a better life anymore; he just expects, the days pass by faster.
He doesn’t get upset, if someone’s love dies. Who cares if she lives or she doesn’t. Who cares if I live or I don’t, even I’’ my own self” don’t care anymore, about my self-being.
Who cares, if there is no other life after death, who wants to live one more time any more?
No one does.
; It’s so much pressure, in even one time life, then, why should someone wants to live one more time, and have the same, maybe worse experience again, and again; suffers from breathing; with no inspiration.
No more. That’s it.
Who cares if there is, or there is not heaven or hell. Who cares, what is wrong or right. Who knows?
Who says someone goes to hell if he killed someone else’s soul.
Who says if someone killed herself, goes to hell?
Who dares to say so?
Who cares, if a fellow kills a soul, out of madness? Who gets sad?
Who cares if someone gets cancer?
Who gets happy, if someone gets married?
Who knows, how long his delusion is going to last?
Who wants to share his life with the others, anyway?
Who says if someone doesn’t love; is fateful? Who says if you are in love; you’re happy and fortunate.
Who says you shouldn’t lie, and then what is with, telling someone charming stuff, without even believing in it.
What is with talking about fate, and destiny, without even believing in God?
Who says you shouldn’t steal. If that is so; then, what is with stealing names, souls, and hearts, and …. .
Who cares if a child is born with no hands? Who cries for the poor; begging all over the city for a dime?
Who cares if homeless dies of cold, in the winter time?
Who cares if a prostitute gets caught, and sentenced by law, by religion?
Who cares if a mother can’t afford to feed her own child?
Who gives her a hand?
She decides to feed her infant, and so she sells her own body. It’s her own body; she can do whatever she desires, with it. Then who dares to stop her from being her own body’s trader?
How attainable and rational it is; to stop her from feeding her own little one.
Who says what fair is?
Who says someone has this right to rule one land?
Who says some people have the right to put the other ones in" jail"; kill them by the name of God?
Who says some groups are acceptable to invent the new regulations. And make changes, whenever they desire.
These are all nonsense.
Who says, there is someone up there; watching us, and taking care of individuals, and souls.
And who says; all these disasters are all written in human’s fate.
These are all nonsense.
Who says if someone does something dreadful; he can’t sleep well at nights, nor eats in peace; then, why all the kings have figures of happy faces, and they can laugh to death?
Who says, humans can be in possession of the land, call it their own kingdom; their own belongings; decide not, let various sort of people, in the land? Who says, they can toss some humans, away from several definite lines, and lock them up, in a few exceptional areas?
Who says, some kind of people, are permitted, to be the owner of the natural substances; such as oils; and who says, if they are capable of promoting it, to others?
Who cares, if someone kills a bird?
Here is gray; nothing matches anything, and this is the truth.
These days, the truth is so evident, and in plain sight, if someone takes a look at a piece of life; just for two minutes, he’ll figure out, nothing makes sense, in today’s life.
Saloume nakhsaz
Sunday, December 04, 2005
It is not worthed; smile.
She sits there; looks at her man,scared to loose him anytime.
She is so beautiful and attractive, but she doesn't know it.
She keeps her silence. she pounds, she looks around; everybody is laughing and having fun, just her.
Her ring;covering her finger, is explaining her sadness and insequrity in her soul.
She is bounded in her marriage life, this road is going to the darkest side of her agony.
He is laughing and smoking dope,glancing at her once in awhile; making sure if she is feeling alright.
She looks at her with a smile; cold but friendly enough to cover her fear of getting lost in that blury mistrust.
She looks at the girls; beautiful enough to steal any heart; to steal his heart; not confident and aware enough; him; being ''the one'' for her, doesn't mean that he, also, will be perfect for others. The girls are so free, and detached of misery and any needs to get attention or satisfied from their own desires; they own their own destiny and solicits. They smile; their happiness and laughter comes truely from their heart and their soul. They look at her; they feel sad, and they smile.
One of the girl tells her: life is too short; don't waist it, it is not worthed; smile.
Saloume Nakhsaz
She is so beautiful and attractive, but she doesn't know it.
She keeps her silence. she pounds, she looks around; everybody is laughing and having fun, just her.
Her ring;covering her finger, is explaining her sadness and insequrity in her soul.
She is bounded in her marriage life, this road is going to the darkest side of her agony.
He is laughing and smoking dope,glancing at her once in awhile; making sure if she is feeling alright.
She looks at her with a smile; cold but friendly enough to cover her fear of getting lost in that blury mistrust.
She looks at the girls; beautiful enough to steal any heart; to steal his heart; not confident and aware enough; him; being ''the one'' for her, doesn't mean that he, also, will be perfect for others. The girls are so free, and detached of misery and any needs to get attention or satisfied from their own desires; they own their own destiny and solicits. They smile; their happiness and laughter comes truely from their heart and their soul. They look at her; they feel sad, and they smile.
One of the girl tells her: life is too short; don't waist it, it is not worthed; smile.
Saloume Nakhsaz
life;it's pains leaves marks on your souls,your thoughts, and your body; you'll bruise easily
photographer:KavehKhodjasteh
Play the ''poker'' right
To me; the concept of life is exactly look like a poker game.
You sit there, and hope for luck to come to you tonight. Then you'll wait for the destinty to present you the cards.
You'll take glance at your cards once; the cards has been given to you tonight; either fortunes or misfortunes in your life.
You'll consider what you have in your hands as; a eorthless thing and you'll decide to give up and back off, Or you consider your cards, as good lucks and you'll decide to go ahead, and give it a try and play the game right.
You know, if you are a good player; you must be patient and be concerned about the other players around; not to find out about your movements and what you have in your mind, So they can't cheat and take your chances to win away.
You look around, look at the players eyes; read their minds.
If you're confident enough, and self-concerned; you'll win the game
You've played the game right; you're the winner in your life.
You have nothing preciouse in your hands; just confidence and patience and hope.
You have a choice to play right; you bluff, so people trust your eyes; you'll wait, till it's the time.
You'll say, you'll bet double; they'll pound, and will say, they'll check. Another one would say, it'll be better if he backs off and sits back, and you'll wait with a smile.
Now it's you and your cards and your confidence, self- trust, your eyes, and your desire to win the game. You'll wait, he'll look at your eyes and then, after all the last one,too will; trust your eyes and will back of and you'll keep your smile.
You'll win with no worthy cards in your hands, just your aim, patience, self-trust and your eyes .
You wished to be the the winner, you pictured youself as the winner, you acted as the winner, you let them, look at you as the winner, you became the winner.
At last part, you'll show your gifted cards; they'll look at them, then they'll look at your eyes; they'll see nothing just aim and self-trust; they rather to trust your eyes .
You won the game, with no backpack; full of lucks; but with the eyes; full of grace and self-trust; with the fate in your heart.
It didn't matter, what you have not had, or you could have had, It's just an intention which mattered.
Saloume Nakhsaz
You sit there, and hope for luck to come to you tonight. Then you'll wait for the destinty to present you the cards.
You'll take glance at your cards once; the cards has been given to you tonight; either fortunes or misfortunes in your life.
You'll consider what you have in your hands as; a eorthless thing and you'll decide to give up and back off, Or you consider your cards, as good lucks and you'll decide to go ahead, and give it a try and play the game right.
You know, if you are a good player; you must be patient and be concerned about the other players around; not to find out about your movements and what you have in your mind, So they can't cheat and take your chances to win away.
You look around, look at the players eyes; read their minds.
If you're confident enough, and self-concerned; you'll win the game
You've played the game right; you're the winner in your life.
You have nothing preciouse in your hands; just confidence and patience and hope.
You have a choice to play right; you bluff, so people trust your eyes; you'll wait, till it's the time.
You'll say, you'll bet double; they'll pound, and will say, they'll check. Another one would say, it'll be better if he backs off and sits back, and you'll wait with a smile.
Now it's you and your cards and your confidence, self- trust, your eyes, and your desire to win the game. You'll wait, he'll look at your eyes and then, after all the last one,too will; trust your eyes and will back of and you'll keep your smile.
You'll win with no worthy cards in your hands, just your aim, patience, self-trust and your eyes .
You wished to be the the winner, you pictured youself as the winner, you acted as the winner, you let them, look at you as the winner, you became the winner.
At last part, you'll show your gifted cards; they'll look at them, then they'll look at your eyes; they'll see nothing just aim and self-trust; they rather to trust your eyes .
You won the game, with no backpack; full of lucks; but with the eyes; full of grace and self-trust; with the fate in your heart.
It didn't matter, what you have not had, or you could have had, It's just an intention which mattered.
Saloume Nakhsaz
Saturday, December 03, 2005
let the tulip breath the fresh air ''my love''.
: What?
:I love you.
: I love you too.why are you so sad?
: I'm so scared.
: Scared of what?
: Scared of not being perfect enough for you.
: You are the most perfect man in my life.
: You deserve all the best.
:And so do you.
:I'm so scared of not being able to make you as content as you're expected.
:I am full of love , i need you. you're the only one who can complete me .
:I'm scared of loosing you again, one more time.
: You're not going to loose me this time. remember; that was long time ago.
: Remembering you " leaving me in that solitude; was look like;stopping me from getting any air to breath, i was suffocating to death. i died, my soul died. my spirit faded .
Now, you gave my life back to me; after coming back to me. looking at you, thinking about you make me feel sensed and live. Don't take itback, let it be.
: I won't, i love you.
: I know you love me, but you're capable of leaving. capable of putting everything behind and being gone for times. Leaving all your attachments. I know you. you're detached of youre loved ones, You're detached of everything you care for. You love them, but you're so faraway. You're capable of flying away; without looking at your back.
: I love you.
: You're capable of stop loving, or i should say; your love to me or to the ones you love is so much different than anybody else's.
You love them with no feeling of owning them. you let them be free. you'll be happy by they laughter and happiness, any place they are at, even if they're so far away from you.
You never wanted anyone just for your own self.
: You know, i think that's the way it should be. That's love. Love is passion and freedom at one level. You're capable of love; you'll give awayeverything is worthed to you; to the ones you love; expecting nothing back throgh it.
You may love someone without him loving you, or without letting him know about your love towards him. You feel it in your heart; you'll feel great when you're in love. You let go.
You let him go, anywhere he has desire of; to his luck, and to his happiness.
You help him out to fly more and more. This is the meaning of LOVE.
You should remember, everywhere you go. anytime you spend, if you love someone, you'll be thinking about the one, You'll get boost up, and you're able to fly to the top of the sky. You are so high.
You may fly together, but sometimes your roads and your desires are different; then you'll fly by your own, you'll feel happy and convinced; if the one is feeling great and content.
Love is not possession; If you keep a tulip in your room for long, it'll die, no matter what you do to keep it alive, it'll die. The tulip needs it's own loam; it's own land, and it's own natural desires.
If you love it, you'll respect it, you'll let it be there, watch it from distance; respect it's self- independance, you'll water it, you'll touch it softly, because it'll bruise easily. and you'll hope for her; get away safely with the hurtful storms.
Just the same way you were to me in all these years; i knew it, i could feel it that you were always there, for me. but from far away.
I was sure you take care of me if i needed you to do so.
I knew you would show your love to me, if i need you loved me.
I knew you would take me there with you, if i needed to be with you.
I knew there was noone just me, in your heart, because you were the one for me.
But i wasn't ready to come along with you; I was a wild bird; lost at the end of the seashore; looking for her destiny; challenging my own spirit.
Nature called on me, i went for it. I had to go for it; find all the real answers all by myself.
I had to discover the true life , true soul; true desire, true love, all by myself.
And i did it. I did everything possible to haelp me out get the real answer out.
Finally i got the true answer of the main words by feeling them; touching them passionately in life.
Now i am satsified.
The nature gave me the valuable gifted prize at the end of my journey, which was the true meaning of love, massive love.
After all, love; true love was equal by you'' my love''.
Everything elses happend to have different meaning after all these times,compared with the past. But you and your love remained the same.
You're true sense of love.
I cherish this love; i let this ''love'' go by my side . I'll be floating in the sky by your love.
This time, i'll come along.
Saloume Nakhsaz
:I love you.
: I love you too.why are you so sad?
: I'm so scared.
: Scared of what?
: Scared of not being perfect enough for you.
: You are the most perfect man in my life.
: You deserve all the best.
:And so do you.
:I'm so scared of not being able to make you as content as you're expected.
:I am full of love , i need you. you're the only one who can complete me .
:I'm scared of loosing you again, one more time.
: You're not going to loose me this time. remember; that was long time ago.
: Remembering you " leaving me in that solitude; was look like;stopping me from getting any air to breath, i was suffocating to death. i died, my soul died. my spirit faded .
Now, you gave my life back to me; after coming back to me. looking at you, thinking about you make me feel sensed and live. Don't take itback, let it be.
: I won't, i love you.
: I know you love me, but you're capable of leaving. capable of putting everything behind and being gone for times. Leaving all your attachments. I know you. you're detached of youre loved ones, You're detached of everything you care for. You love them, but you're so faraway. You're capable of flying away; without looking at your back.
: I love you.
: You're capable of stop loving, or i should say; your love to me or to the ones you love is so much different than anybody else's.
You love them with no feeling of owning them. you let them be free. you'll be happy by they laughter and happiness, any place they are at, even if they're so far away from you.
You never wanted anyone just for your own self.
: You know, i think that's the way it should be. That's love. Love is passion and freedom at one level. You're capable of love; you'll give awayeverything is worthed to you; to the ones you love; expecting nothing back throgh it.
You may love someone without him loving you, or without letting him know about your love towards him. You feel it in your heart; you'll feel great when you're in love. You let go.
You let him go, anywhere he has desire of; to his luck, and to his happiness.
You help him out to fly more and more. This is the meaning of LOVE.
You should remember, everywhere you go. anytime you spend, if you love someone, you'll be thinking about the one, You'll get boost up, and you're able to fly to the top of the sky. You are so high.
You may fly together, but sometimes your roads and your desires are different; then you'll fly by your own, you'll feel happy and convinced; if the one is feeling great and content.
Love is not possession; If you keep a tulip in your room for long, it'll die, no matter what you do to keep it alive, it'll die. The tulip needs it's own loam; it's own land, and it's own natural desires.
If you love it, you'll respect it, you'll let it be there, watch it from distance; respect it's self- independance, you'll water it, you'll touch it softly, because it'll bruise easily. and you'll hope for her; get away safely with the hurtful storms.
Just the same way you were to me in all these years; i knew it, i could feel it that you were always there, for me. but from far away.
I was sure you take care of me if i needed you to do so.
I knew you would show your love to me, if i need you loved me.
I knew you would take me there with you, if i needed to be with you.
I knew there was noone just me, in your heart, because you were the one for me.
But i wasn't ready to come along with you; I was a wild bird; lost at the end of the seashore; looking for her destiny; challenging my own spirit.
Nature called on me, i went for it. I had to go for it; find all the real answers all by myself.
I had to discover the true life , true soul; true desire, true love, all by myself.
And i did it. I did everything possible to haelp me out get the real answer out.
Finally i got the true answer of the main words by feeling them; touching them passionately in life.
Now i am satsified.
The nature gave me the valuable gifted prize at the end of my journey, which was the true meaning of love, massive love.
After all, love; true love was equal by you'' my love''.
Everything elses happend to have different meaning after all these times,compared with the past. But you and your love remained the same.
You're true sense of love.
I cherish this love; i let this ''love'' go by my side . I'll be floating in the sky by your love.
This time, i'll come along.
Saloume Nakhsaz
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)